just watch this

Cold and rainy here. The whole family has been rolling around in the sheets of our bed in the grey light of the wintry day, cuddling and giggling. Thom wins the prize for the best blanket monster and also the stinkiest breath.

This is neat:

lola b.

I sat once on a bench in a park, alone with my thoughts. From seemingly nowhere, a child appeared. She stood in front of me with her pom pom pigtails standing at dog ear attention, her little brown belly peaked out from the bottom of her shirt. I thought at first that she had mistaken me for her mother, but as she inspected me I could see that that wasn't the case.

"Hi", I finally said out of discomfort.

"Hi", she said without any apparent discomfort.

"What's your name?", I asked.

"Lola B." She made no indication that she would be moving along anytime soon.

I leaned forward and looked left and then right wondering where her mother might be.

"Hi Lola B. I'm April." I mumbled, taking note that the name Lola was back in vogue.

"I like your earrings." She informed me.

"Oh thank you, I made them."

Lola moved closer and inched her little bottom up on the bench uncomfortably close to me. She looked up and smiled. I smiled back. She kicked her legs. Pink Mary Jane's went back and forth, back and forth. She twiddled her thumbs. She had chipped polish on her tiny nails.

"Purple is my favorite color." She said after a while.

I was still looking around for a parent.

"Purple is my favorite color." She said again.

"Oh, mine too! That's neat. We have the same favorite color. Where's your mommy?"

She pointed across the park to a strikingly beautiful black woman holding a baby in a sling, engaged in an animated conversation with another woman. Her large hoop earrings flopped from side to side.

"Oh." It was apparent that Lola wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. So we sat. I stared at strangers through dark sunglasses and Lola swung her feet. We didn't talk. We smiled at each other every now and then. We were just girls together on a park bench one afternoon.

It was nice.

good fortune

Here's something I bet you didn't know about me: I used to be rich once.

About four years ago Sugar Daddy and his best friend, Andre, started a company training real estate agents. This was when the housing market was at it's peak. It was very successful. The money was rolling in. We were flush. We were dining out at the nicest places, shopping for furniture and living the high life. We were making big plans. Then the market crashed.

At this time we had just bought our current house and we put everything we had saved into it. We had banked on having plenty of cash to decorate the house and put in a killer yard. Like I said, we had big plans.

It is hardly a rags to riches (or riches to rags?) story because I still have a very nice lifestyle. I am not so skewed as to think that my life is anything like what some people go through. All my needs are being met and I feel very blessed. But, it was a little startling to go from nights out at Donovan's to cooking burgers on the grill. And I learned something about myself.

Last weekend we didn't go out. We stayed home and played with the boy. We put on our pajamas and had Vietnamese take out. Andre and Jenny came over and we sat around and talked and laughed at how our lives have changed. And at the end of the night, when I crawled into bed next to Ben and laid my head on his shoulder and wrapped my legs around his, it didn't matter that we hadn't gotten dressed up and gone out to some swanky place.


I am not any less happy now than I was then. Sure, I had a good time. We made some fun memories during our short stint of opulence. And I came this close to buying a really really great buffet for the dining room that I still dream about. Damn. But all in all, we are doing okay. Wealth is fleeting and can be taken away by the slightest of breezes. But I have Sugar Daddy, who is my rock, and Thom, who is my dream come true, and that, my dears, makes me feel like a Queen.

*************************************************************
Here are the winners of the Holly Golightly earplugs:

Mary Marsh of Meeting Street Designs

The cute flight attendant from Postcards and Coasters

Guinevere of The Fridge Door

Rene of Little Kiki's Blog

Tessa of How to Make Art

tales from bäkerloo

There is a huge benefit to living in San Diego and it isn't just the weather. Although, that has been glorious as of late. I took the above photo on Monday at our community pool. Yes folks, we're swimming down here. There's nothing like basking in the sun in February.

(That last comment was a little gratuitous jab at my brother who loves warm weather and is currently living in heaps of snow.)

Anyway, back to the point I was trying to make before I started gloating. One of the really great things about San Diego is the plethora of great stylists. We have really, really good salons here with amazing stylists.

This is Hans.

Hans is my Johnathan. I started going to Hans about six months ago on the referral of a good friend. Hans is, well, Hans is completely too cool for even himself. Let me just tell you he calls his home his "batcave".


The truth is Hans is hee-lar-ious. He always has a juicy story to tell, names changed of course, and he is open and accepting of everyone. He is absolutely off his rocker crazy, but soooo much fun. And he is the hair guru.

I spent the afternoon with Hans yesterday. He saved me from my grey hairs that make me feel like a hag. He gave me back my rockin red attitude.



Just look at the sculpting he did on my mop. I tell ya, it makes me feel fancy. Well, at least until I twist it all up and out of my way. But right after I leave Hans, I feel like a hair model. It helps that he kisses you on the cheek before you step out into the sunshine with a slight breeze to ruffle your locks.

Here's some pics from my day at Bäkerloo.

Okay if you are thinking that this whole Hans experience costs a pretty penny, think again sister. Don't you know me at all? I am the Queen of Bargains, the Diva of Deals.

Well, sort of.

But, rest assured Hans is very reasonable and he gives complimentary trims to boot. Ahhhhh. I do love my Hans. He's like the boy girlfriend I never had.

If you live in the area and need to be glamorized, drop me an email. I may just give you his number.

oh the wheels in her head went round and round

Sugar Daddy is out of town on business. He went to take the deposition of a dying woman. It's all very dramatic and makes for a very saucy story if you are into that kind of thing.

When Ben is gone, I like to create. Art, jewelry, sewing, you name it. I get the bug. However, since he's been gone, I haven't done a single thing. I started to embroider a onesie for a baby shower I am going to on Saturday (heaven help me), but I abandoned that project. I pulled out my fabric stash and looked at it for a really long time before putting it back in the closet. I even did about twelve stitches on a blanket I'm crocheting. Nothing was doing it for me. The nervous energy was killing me.

So I spent some time just looking. This is what I found:

Sometimes, just looking is enough.

Sometimes it calms me down.

But not last night.

I felt even more creative angst than before.

So I bathed the boy in almond and cherry blossom bubble bath. I can get away with stuff like that when his dad is gone. I made a frozen pizza for dinner and we sat on the couch while the boy watched cartoons. He started to nod off so I cuddled him close and smelled his flowery skin and all the nervous energy melted away. Just. Like. That.

because sally tomato said so

I can't believe that I've been at this for an entire year. I've written so much, given a fair amount of things away and complained a little. Here's to many more years of having my own daily soap box.

Do you have a favorite Suaviloquy post? I'd like to know which one it is. Leave it in the comments.

"I've got to do something about the way I look. I mean
a girl just can't go to Sing Sing with a green face." -Holly
Golightly

I mentioned not to long ago that I had found some ear plugs. I didn't want any old ugly orange ones like Sugar Daddy used to wear in law school. A girl like me needs fashion.

So I turned to the Queen of Fashion herself. Holly Golightly.

She never steers me wrong. I found the sweetest little tassel ear plugs around. And girls, they were only $6. You must check out JenGen's little shop on the web. Sally Tomato gives it two thumbs up.

I've been wearing them around annoying the living daylights out of my family. When they ask me to do something I just point to the tassels and mouth "I CAN'T HEAR YOU" and give a shrug.

You know me. I can't keep something this good all to myself. I have to share the love. I have five, yes five pairs of ear tassels in varying designs to give away. Leave a message and you will be in the drawing. And don't forget to tell me if you have a favorite post from 2008 if you had one. I will pick a winner on Wednesday. If you aren't lucky enough to win a pair, for heaven's sake, go to the website and buy some. They are only $6!

P.S. If you don't know who Sally Tomato is, I don't know why you are still reading this post. Go rent the movie already!

"look here" said the llama

I dreamt last night that I attended a very civilized luncheon hosted by a very distinguished llama. We had tomato bisque, sourdough rolls, Vietnamese spring rolls and Valentine's M&M's.

I was wearing a gorgeous chiffon evening gown the color of ripe limes with a large vintage broach, which I remember thinking, was made of real diamonds. I was self conscious that the dress was strapless and my hands fluttered nervously around my décolleté. I was also overly concerned with not spilling any soup on the broach. Obviously, it didn't belong to me.

"Look here," said the llama as he sat back in his seat, tugged on the bottom of his vest and adjusted his monocle. "It seems to me that a young woman like yourself needs only to look around at your splendid life to gain perspective. You seem to forget, dear girl, that you are one of the lucky few to have been born into high society. You have the world at your fingertips. You have only to reach out and grasp. All this moping and carrying on is very unbecoming a person of your position. Would you be so kind as to pass the butter?"

He sliced a roll in half, buttered it and added a happy face made of M&Ms.

I woke up with a sugar hangover and a new perspective. I'm not exactly 'high society', but I am ridiculously blessed in so many ways. I hope that in the future, I can curb any nasty little tantrums before they find their way onto my blog.

Shall we move on and pretend that Saturday never happened? I think the llama would approve.

Tomorrow is the big day! My one year blog celebration! AND I've got a giveaway! Come see what I have in store for all you lovely readers, who, by the way, I count amongst my many blessings.

alligator tears

Its a beautiful day here in Cali. The sun is beating down with all it's might and the winds are swirling around to create the perfect temperature. The birds as singing and we are talking about grilling up some king crab legs for dinner. And me? Well I feel like plucking off all the warbling birds with a bb gun, shutting all the blinds and eating Crisco from the can. In my world, today is grey and ugly.

I didn't think I'd ever be in this place again. I thought my angry infertility days were a thing of the past. Today proved me wrong. I'm just down right pissed.

If one more person says "oh don't worry, it will happen" I may just reach down their throat and rearrange their organs.

I laid on my bed and cried alligator tears. Why alligator? Because I am not only weak with sadness I am also ready to bite the head of anyone who crosses my path. You know what they say about wounded animals. Sugar Daddy laid beside me and rubbed my back unaware that any false move and he could have lost an arm.

This too shall pass. If I've learned one thing it is that time goes on and things iron themselves out. Besides, I must pull myself together for Monday's post. Suaviloquy is turning one and I have a super fun give away for you. I'll get right on that after I eat an entire tub of chunky monkey ice cream and sleep for 20 hours.


If you are wondering what you can do to cheer me up, I'm taking chocolate donations. Please send them c/o Infertile Myrtle.

craftity craft craft

If you have been reading Suaviloquy for a while, you know that I love to have fresh flowers at my "work station". I love looking for new arrangement ideas and then going to the flower market. I thoroughly enjoy the process of actually arranging the flowers. It's quiet and soothing.

The ceiling in my kitchen is really high. For some time now I have been wanting to make an arrangement that is really tall. The only problem is cash. In order to make an arrangement as big as I want it is going to cost a lot. And by a lot I mean, like probably over a hundred and fifty bucks. Sugar Daddy would not go for it I'm afraid.

But today I came up with a super cheap alternative. I went into my back yard and clipped some dead branches. I spray painted them silver. Then I got out some pink tissue paper and made a bunch of little cherry blossoms. I raided my Christmas ornaments for birds. I put little glittery hearts on them to make them love birds.

The result is a very wintry arrangement that works well for Valentine's. And, I didn't spend a penny. Aren't I thrifty?

Please give me kudos for my thriftiness. It's not one of my strong suits and I am a little insecure about it. I do shop at discount stores though! I should get points for that don't you think?

I am also working on this little project with Thom. To make these hearts, all you have to do is iron crayon between two pieces of wax paper. It is a great project for a kid Thom's age. He LOVES making crayon shavings with a butter knife. You know, as a boy any excuse to use a knife is a good one.

Got any fun Valentine's craft ideas for kids? Let's see them!

partners in crime

I am from the school of thought that every girl needs a best friend. Sisters don't count.

You need someone that you have chosen and that has chosen you. Because you are better together than apart.

This is Jenny. Jenny is my Ethel. Why do I get to be Lucy? Because this is my blog and I have red hair. That's why. Also, Jenny's husband is bald, like Fred.*

I know that Jenny loves me because when I run my mouth, as I am prone to do, she says "Aprrriiiillll!" which is her nice way of saying "Shut it sister." She saves me from myself.

And once, on New Year's Eve some years ago, I got sick and threw up in a public bathroom and SHE CLEANED IT UP!!! In. A. Public. Bathroom. True story.

But mostly I know she loves me because she tells me the truth. She tells me when I'm wrong and she listens to me when I complain about people who bug me. I can complain all I want to her because she's a vault. She will never trash talk someone, which I actually find quite annoying, but I know that deep down she is sending them bad voodoo vibes for me.

So why am I just now, after close to a year of blogging, mentioning Jenny? Well, I guess it's because there are a few things in my life that I hold close to my heart and I am a little reluctant to share. But I think it is time.

World, I got her first. Go get your own Jenny. Believe me, you need one.

* Guaranteed, Jenny just thought "Appprrriiilll!" in her head.