on being brave

“I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately, I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, To put to rout all that was not life and not when I had come to die discover that I had not lived.”   ~ Henry David Thoreau

I don't know if I am brave in the way a solider is brave. Or in the way a cancer patient is brave.

I don't know. I haven't faced those enemies.  If I had to guess, I'd probably say that in a life or death situation, I'd freak out and talk everyone around me to death.

But I'm working on my everyday bravery.  I'm doing hard things. I'm stretching myself more than ever before.  I'm doing things that scare me.  I'm taking risks.

I was speaking with a woman the other day. She showed me photos of her family's trip to Asia.  I told her I'd love to go. I'd love to take our family on a adventure but the thought of getting on an airplane with two babies scares me to death.

She looked me in the eye and said, "Don't think about it. Just do it."

Indeed.

If people knew exactly what they were getting themselves into when they start a new venture, nobody would do anything.  My husband never would have gone to law school. We would have never had children. We would never have bought a house or got a dog or started our own businesses or taken our children to Disneyland. Not if we knew ahead of time what was in store for us.

I'm still not getting on an airplane for twenty hours with my babies, but I'm going to leap more. Push more. Seek out opportunity.  I want to suck the marrow out of this life.

Here's some food for thought: What is it you want? What's holding you back? Fear?

Come on. Jump with me.

a sticky situation

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

The first batch of taffy was cherry flavored and hard as a rock.  It went into the trash.

I followed the directions.  I did exactly what the experts told me to do.  It was frustrating, and when I could see where it was headed I cursed and stood in my kitchen with my fist on my hip trying to think where I must have gone wrong.

This is where I realized that baking candy is just like everything else in life.  If you desire to do something extraordinary, you must pay the piper.  There is a reason that most people buy salt water taffy.

In case you're wondering, the piper is paid with time and persistence.

Very few people fall into success.  Very few.  Some would have you believe that it was easy.  They don't admit to toil and strife. But I'm here to say that everything I've done in my life that has brought me  big rewards has cost dearly. The piper has grown rich on my exertions.  I think he has plans to retire to Dubai.

So I tightened my apron strings and went back to work.  This time I cooked the candy slower.  I made sure the sugar crystals were all melted. I enlisted the Sugar Daddy to help pull the candy.  It was pineapple flavor.

And we made taffy. And it's delicious.

But still, it is a little stiffer than what I want. It's dangerous for dental work.

So I will try again.  I will gather up the experience I have gained and put it to use.  I will try to be patient and persistent. Hopefully I will be rewarded.

I think the next batch will be apple.  Or maybe watermelon.

I wish all of life's problems could be so sweet.

wanderlust

dear morocco

I got me a bad case of wanderlust. I got it something fierce.

I've been dreaming of spices and old buildings and beads. Always beads. And noodles.

I have a passport that sits in our safe. Just sits there.  Ready. Empty pages.

I'm hungry for inspiration. I want to see something I've never seen before. Something I never knew existed. 

Lately my thoughts have leapt out of the box.  So far out of the box they cross oceans and continents. They fly over London and through the streets of Paris. They take me to the markets of Marrakech and on Safari in Tanzania.  

The Sugar Daddy humors me so. I talk and talk. He listens, and on occasion throws in an idea or two. At the end of the day, when we lay our heads down to sleep, he says, "Sleep tight big dreamer."

And dream I do. Of Chinese fire dragons and aboriginals playing the didgeridoo. And beads. 

Always beads.