to thine own self: part III create

Let me make one thing clear.

Creativity is not defined as the ability to design.  This is a fallacy that our society has imposed.

Creativity is defined as the ability to transcend traditional ideas, rules, patterns, relationships, or the like, and to create meaningful new ideas, forms, methods, interpretations, etc.; originality, progressiveness, or imagination.

Every human is creative. Alas, it is part of what makes us human.  It is why we have the Golden Gate Bridge and the internet and Godiva cheesecake. Oh God bless the soul who created Godiva cheesecake!

You, sitting here, reading this! You are creative. And guess what. You should be using that creativity and I'll tell you why.

The creative energy that resides in each of us is not benign. It is energy and is has to go somewhere. Somebody figured that out a long time ago using their creativity. I think it was Newton maybe.

E_potential -> action

So you have this energy inside of you. And if it isn't being used it gets stored, like fat, in our cells. Often it will metastasize. Which isn't good. This means it mutates into something else. Something ugly. 

Just what it becomes is varied. Everyone is different. But the feeling that we all get from this mutant energy is the same. It feels like anxiety. Like listlessness. Like agitation.

Remember when you were a kid and you were stuck in the back seat on a long road trip and you were unable to get out and play? Remember how you would have an overwhelming urge to tease your sibling or annoy your parents? That's the feeling I'm talking about. 

People are happier when they are exercising their creativity. They are more content. Their self-esteem is higher. They are better people. Period.

Now, here is the last part of my personal happiness plan. Ready?

Be creative.

That's it. Create something. Anything. Today and tomorrow and every other day after that. 

And don't worry- I've heard all the excuses about no time, no money, no ideas. 

To hell with circumstances. Create opportunity.  Bruce Lee said that.

It's not easy. Nothing worth doing is ever easy. Usually when I am working on a project I have to stop a billion times to change a diaper, get a snack, break up a fight, answer the phone or make a meal.  I can't afford to buy the top of the line supplies all the time. Sometimes I try and try and try to get something right until I am so frustrated I can hardly stand myself. It's not easy.


Sometimes you have to push boundaries. Think outside the box to make things work.

I recently saw a film that perfectly illustrates what it means to create opportunity. Here's a clip:

You were born to create. Fulfilling this potential will bring you joy. This I know for sure.

Start today. 

to thine own self: part the second- the satisfaction cup theory

Happy Friday friends.

I meant to have this message up first thing this morning but, well life happened.

First off, a big thank you to all of you who have contacted me about my post "To Thine Own Self".  I have received more emails, facebook messages and phone calls about that post than anything else I have ever written.  All of you are thanking me for having written it, but the truth is, I need to be thanking you for all your feedback. It has been a long journey for me and it makes my heart sing that others can also benefit.

I wrote the basic bones of what I do in my life to stay the happiest possible.  There is more. I never intended to write "how to" guides on being happy. I feel like I am much more adept at writing about hot glue and paint, than self improvement. However, I also want to share the things that make my life better. I think we should all be a lot more forth coming with the things that could help other people.

So I'm writing today to share with you the theory of the "Satisfaction Cup".  My father came up with this theory some years ago. Our entire family has adopted it into our lives. It goes something like this:

Everyday you wake up with an empty cup to fill.  During the day, you will fill this cup with the things you do. Every person has a different recipe for what they need to fill their cups with in order to feel happy and satisfied by the end of the day. For example, I have learned that everyday, I need to have a few hours of productive work, a few hours of creativity, some quality time with my family, exercise, a little play and down time.  If I can fit all these things into my day, I go to bed tired and very happy.

Like I said before, everyone is different. My best friend needs a lot of play in her day to feel satisfied. Another friend needs a little service to others to be happy.  You might need reading time or religious worship or lot of time to sit and do nothing. You must get real with yourself and figure out what it is you need to feel satisfied at the end of the day.

Keep in mind that there are days that vary. For instance, if you go on vacation, your day will be very different. Sundays at my house are different from other days of the week. The satisfaction cup is a general application to your everyday routine.

You will know at the end of the day if your cup isn't full. The feeling is unmistakable. You feel hungry. Maybe literally hungry, maybe figuratively hungry. If I find myself snacking late at night it is most often because my cup didn't get filled for the day. I'm not really hungry for food, I'm just trying to satisfy. Sometimes I do other things at the end of the day like waste time on the internet shopping or channel surf on t.v.  Most often the things we do when our cups hasn't been filled are negative and unproductive.  Sometimes they are even destructive, like picking fights with people or gossiping.

Yesterday I filled my cup to overflowing. I got up and got the kids bathed and dressed. Took The Boy to school and then took the two babies to the doctor for check-ups (work). After the doctor we went to TJMaxx and I shopped for a birthday gift (play). Then we went home and we had a picnic outside for lunch (quality family time). Then I ran on the treadmill and did sit-ups (exercise). I cycled the wash, did a little work on the computer, did a general pick-up through my house and baked a cake for Frankie's birthday party tomorrow (work). I took The Boy to scouts and then I spent some time creating party hats and favours for the party (creativity). We had dinner together and studied spelling words and then it was time for pajamas and bed and then a little veg time holding the babies and watching kids shows (down time). At this point I was absolutely exhausted and I ended up falling asleep instead of writing this post. But it didn't matter because my cup was already full and I was satisfied.

Not everyday is this busy or this productive. But if I can squeeze in just enough of everything I need to feel happy and satisfied, in the evening I know that my overall outlook on life will be healthy and upbeat.

Everyday you empty the contents of your satisfaction cup into your "Life Satisfaction Cup". If this cup isn't kept full, you will start to feel the effects. You will have a searching feeling. You will feel unsatisfied with the life you are living. You will tend to focus on the negative things instead of the things that make you happy.

So here's what you need to do: 

First, identify what it is you personally need in each day to feel happy and productive. Be honest. I wish I could say that giving service was one of the things I need. Alas, it is not. Think about how your long term goals play into this.

Second, check yourself throughout your day to make sure you are managing your time so that you will be able to get in all the things you need.

Third, know that everyday is different and be flexible.  If you work like a dog one day, you might not need much work in the days that follow to feel satisfied.

As I said before, happiness is not an absolute. There are so many factors that happen in our lives that play into how we feel emotionally. But the point is to work on those things that we can control.

Working toward happiness is always much better than the alternative.

Next Friday I will share with you the last aspect of my own person happiness plan. I hope you find these things as pertinent as you did the concepts in the first post.

Now carpe the diem out of today!

Sharing pics of Frankie Valentine's second birthday on Monday!

to thine own self: thoughts on happiness

Many years ago I was living in a place I didn’t like. I was working at a job I didn’t like. I was struggling with infertility and what I thought was my only bright spot in life, my husband, was gone all the time with work.

It was at this time that a friend of mine happened to come into the office where I was working. On his way out the door, he made an off hand comment about going to have his weekly treat.

I was curious and asked exactly what he was going to do. “I’m going to go get my weekly cigar and smoke it on my commute home. I give myself a treat every Friday afternoon as a reward for making it through another week of work.” He explained.

Now, I am completely against smoking and if I had been a more brazen girl, I might have challenged him to quit and find another treat. But at the time I wasn’t brazen. I was bitter and unhappy and I really didn’t have it in me to worry about other people and their bad habits. After all, it is pretty hard to love others, when you do not love yourself.

But I thought a lot about the concept of treating one’s self. I was no stranger to treats. I regularly went home and “treated” myself to a heaping bowl of Ben and Jerry’s. But what I was really doing is medicating. Losing myself in calories.

Today I can say I am a happier person than I’ve ever been before. That is not a comment I make lightly. It has taken me a lot of time and practice to get to this point. I have had to make changes that at times have been painful. There is no concrete formula for happiness, but I want to share some of the things I have learned along my journey.

The first thing I want to share is an absolute truth. It is this: Nobody can make you happy. Only you can make you happy. People can add to, or take away from, your happiness, but ultimately relying on another person to change your mental state is folly.

The next truth I’ve learned is that I am enough. Like most mother’s I put a lot of pressure on myself to live some sort of imaginary life where I am superwoman and everything is hunky dory. What I’ve come to realize, and remind myself of when I forget, is that people aren’t going to love me less because I am not superwoman. I am loved because I am me, with all my flaws. People are much more interested in how they feel when they are with me than my latest accomplishment.

Another thing I have come to realize over the years is that I must try my best at the things that are most important to me. For instance, fitness is important to me. When I slag off and get out of shape, it affects my happiness. No one else cares or even knows that I didn’t get a run in or go to the gym, but it bothers me. I’ve learned that to be happy, I have to feel that I am trying my hardest at being a good parent and wife, staying fit, and developing my creative mind. This doesn’t mean I have to be perfect. I just have to feel like I’m giving it my best.

I’ve had to stop medicating and start treating. I remember looking at a photo of myself as a child and thinking, what a great kid. I like me as a kid. If I were to meet me as a child I’d want to take her out for a treat just to spend time with her. And then I thought, you know, I treat my kids to certain things when they work hard or show some sort of behavior I like, why don’t I treat myself?

The beauty of treating instead of medicating is that treats are always better than medicine. Just ask a kid.

Today my treats are things like a new pair of shoes or a nice bar of French milled soap. I do still love Ben and Jerry’s, so once a week or so I have dessert. I’ve heard it said you shouldn’t treat yourself with food. You are not a dog. BUT, I really love dessert and if I’ve been good all week, by damn I’m having dessert.

I also got rid of all the proverbial “pebbles in my shoe”. I found I had small things in my life that didn’t bother me enough to feel an urgency to fix them, but they bothered me enough to affect my overall happiness. For me, these things were a forgiveness I had to give and an overdue task I had to get done. Proverbial pebbles can be anything from a nagging body pain to a wounded relationship to an unpaid bill. Once I plucked the pebbles from my life, I realized the weight that they had put on me. Don’t underestimate the toll that small annoyances take on your happiness over time.

The last thing I’ve found that has profoundly changed my happiness is spending time alone. This means no kids, no husband, no friends, no social media. At first it was hard. And a little boring. I am so plugged into my crazy life that it took me a while to get used to quiet.

My alone time is when I run. I used to only want to do long runs with friends, but when I moved I found myself with no running partner. And I discovered my stream of conscience. I find that my best ideas come when I am alone with my thoughts. Funny how that works. And the added bonus is that good ideas have a way of boosting your ego. Even if you never share a good idea or implement it, just having it will make you feel pleased with yourself.

Happiness is always a work in progress. Life happens. Profoundly sad things happen. Sometimes people need professional help to get back on the right path towards happiness. But working towards happiness is much better than the alternative.

If you feel that it is time to quit wallowing and start living, here are my tips to get started.

1. Decide what you want to treat yourself to and what you will do to earn it.

2. List the things that are most important to you. Keep the list where you can see it often to remind you check yourself in these areas.

3. Get rid of the pebble in your shoe.

4. Schedule alone time.

5. Practice saying, “I am enough” to your self. When you start to compare your life to others stop and think. “I am enough. I don’t need to do what other people are doing to be the best me.”

I hope you are happy. I hope my discoveries are something you have known all along. But if you are not, and you want to make some changes, give them a go.

They have changed my life. They have made me a better mom, wife, friend and artist.

But I still claim my rightful spot in the Work in Progress Society. 

image by bubbla loo photograhpy

smell this

Nolan

I recently heard a talk from an author who had written a book on how to be happy.  She said that using your sense of smell more often can make you happier. Then she proceeded to pass around little vials of perfumes that smelled like happy places. You know, like the beach or the garden.

I've been thinking about this idea. Sugar Daddy smells everything. And I mean everything.

Give him an orange- sniff then peel.
Give him a new book- sniff then read.
Give him a sharpie- sniff, sniff, sniff then write.
Give him a kid with a poopy diaper- yep. Sniff then change.

He literally smells anything you hand him. But the strange thing is that I rarely sniff anything and yet my sense of smell is way better than his. And I can't say he's a happier person than me. We are pretty much even in that department.

One thing that really interests me is what scents other people love.  The Sugar Daddy loves the faint scent of skunk. No, I'm not kidding.  He also likes pipe tobacco, cut grass and rubber sporting equipment.

Some of my favorite smells are freshly sharpened pencils, wet cement, tomato plant leafs, limes, baby lotion and towels from my grandmother's cupboard.

Here's what I don't like, no, not one bit: two poopy diapers, of varying crap smell, first thing each morning. The inhumanity! Also, I can't tolerate cold bath water smell, moldy laundry and seaweed on the beach.

When I think about the smells like like, they are all linked to memories. So I guess maybe this author maybe onto something. If I smell the things I like more often, then do I relive happy memories more often and thus become a happier person?

Meh. I don't know. I'm not totally buying it. But I'm going to try it anyway.

Today I'm smelling stuff.

I think I should also mention that this author of happiness also said that if you are tired during the day the only thing you have to do to regain your energy is to stand up, and hop up and down three times.

This was the point in which I quit giving any credence to what she had to say.

Hop up and down. Please. I need a big hit of caffeine, a bite of chocolate and a babysitter.

a dog with a stick

I'm going to admit something here that a few of you might find shameful.  

Whenever a news report comes on about the devastation in Japan I turn it off. I turn away.  

I don't let myself think about the people who are suffering. It's a totally selfish thing on my part and I know it.  It's just that there has been a fair amount of sadness happening to people close to me.  Sometimes I feel like I can only allow so much sadness in.  There's a tipping point when I become overwhelmed.  

Right now I feel that my efforts are best spent helping those standing before me.  So I change the channel.

But yesterday I listened. Just for a while.  I heard the story of Taylor Anderson, an American girl, who was only 24. Taylor taught elementary school in Ishinomaki.  When the earthquake hit, she made sure all the children where picked up safely by their parents before she left.  She was last seen riding her bike down the road, away from the school.  Her body was found some days later.

Taylor Anderson

So as I was driving and listening it all came home to roost.  The loss. The devastation.  The despair.  Taylor's mother.

I choked up. Couldn't breath.

At this moment, when I was beginning to think that the world was all a big piece of crap, with terrible happenings to everyone, all the time, I happened to glance over and see a woman walking her dog.

He was a big fat black labrador retriever.  And he had a huge stick in his mouth.  The stick was probably three times as long as his body and had lots of branches jetting out all over it.  He could barely weld such an unruly prize, but the pure joy written across his face was plain as day.  The curve at the corners of his lips and the twinkle in his eye were so completely infectious that I loss my train of thought and began to smile.

His tail was wagging a million miles a minute, causing his entire back end sway,  which made it even harder for him to lug the stick. But oh he was a happy dog. A dog with a stick.

And in that moment I was reminded of a life truth.  We must live in the moment. We must enjoy today.

Crap happens everyday.  Small inconveniences. Tragic occurrences.   No one is immune.

But we have a choice.  If we are given something unruly to bear we can lay down and whine or we can smile and wag our tail and lug that damn trial around until it is taken away.

Sometimes I hate my dog Finn.  But I think I will keep him around because dogs have a way to teaching you stuff.

Like how to be happy.

bag lady

photo source

My car broke down yesterday.

So there is that to talk about.  

It started with the radio cutting out. Suze Rotolo was being interviewed by Margot Adler.  Margot read this passage written about Suze by Bob Dylan in his autobiography.  It was pretty vivd and strong worded and totally enchanting, and right when Margot asked for Suze's response to these words the radio went dead.

That pissed me off pretty good.  

Then the car jerked and sputtered and came to a stop right in the middle of traffic.  And my hazards didn't even work.  

And I had a sweaty bandana on my head because I was coming home from the gym and running errands.

But the most amazing thing happened.

It was a pretty dangerous situation because cars couldn't see that I was stopped and they kept coming up really fast and then swerving to miss me.  This went on for a good five minutes or so and then my knight in shinning armor showed up. Sugar Daddy? No. He was at work.  

This knight was about seventy years old with a derby cap and a Members Only jacket.  He parked behind me and turned on his hazards.  

Sweet Mr. Derby man. I'll love you forever.

The story ends with me walking home in my bandana, with my shopping bags in my black greasy hands and only one shoe.  

Frankly I'm surprised I wasn't arrested for vagrancy.

But this is the stuff of life though eh?  

It's the day to day occurrences that build our life.  There are crappy times and really super good times and all the squishy matter in between.

Sometimes you eat crow, sometimes you eat macaroons. That's what I always say.  Well, not really. That just came to me just now.

So here's my point. I do have one. I think.

What I want to say today is when next I find myself nibbling a macaroon or a baby cheek I'm going to remember to cache that happiness so next time I am walking down a road with only one shoe and grease smudges, like a bag lady, I can draw on those specks of sweetness and laugh heartily out loud at life.

But not in front of any cops.

Don't think twice, It's alright by Bob Dylan

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

the little things

Amelie 1 year old

I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life...to put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.
~Henry David Thoreau

At thrity-six I'm learning to live. My children are teaching me what life is really all about. It's the little things.

Yesterday I held all of my children in my arms (there's three now you know). Amelie planted open mouth slobbery kisses on Henry's head and tried to poke him in the eye. Thom put his skinny little arm around my neck and told me a knock knock joke. They wiggled and squirmed and we laughed.

Last night I rested my head on my husband's chest and listed to his heart beat. Beating for me.

It's the little things. Like being naked in the sun, eating a banana.

Dear Universe, please record these moments that make my heart sing and play them back to me as I leave this life so that I will know that I really lived.

on this day...

a fanciful twist

My roses are blooming.

I bought three packs of seeds at the nursery. Radishes, cucumbers, and peppers.

I started embroidering a pair of shoes.

Baby announcements have been ordered.

A good friend is coming to stay this weekend.

Henry has chub on his legs.

Happiness abounds.

~*~

knocking holes in the darkness

Friday was a bad day. The big trial that Sugar Daddy won is going to be retried. The thought of going through the whole thing again makes me feel like I have a tape worm stretched from my throat to my bowels.

On Friday I was pretty distraught.

Then a little miracle happened.

I happened to be listening to Rev. Kyles being interviewed on NPR about Martin Luther. This is what he said:


It is said that Robert Louis Stevenson was a man who never enjoyed good
health.He spent a lot of time in his room even as a child. He was always looking out the window. His nurse asked him one day, Robert, what are you doing? He said, I'm watching that old man knock holes in the darkness. She said, what are you talking about?

He would climb up the ladder and light the light, come down, move the ladder to the next pole, climb up, come down, move the ladder. And everywhere he would light a light it appeared to him with his little quick mind that a hole was being knocked in the darkness.

And so I'm suggesting that those of us who have the strength and the ability, we should be knocking holes in the darkness. So, Martin Luther King came to Memphis - it was a dark place to come, but he came and he came knocking holes in the darkness.


One of life's great truths is that if Mama aint happy, aint nobody happy.

So I had to find a way to myself snap myself out of it.

For some time now, I've been considering a perm. Yes, I know this hearkens back to the regrettable fashion era known as the eighties.

But. I was thinking of just getting a body perm. Natalie was in total agreement. She thought it was a great idea. She has curly hair herself and I think she is somewhat partial. She encouraged me to go for it.

I knew I needed a good laugh to lighten things up around here, sooooo......



Not to worry. I only slept in foam rollers. But Natalie didn't know that.

I totally convinced her that going on her advice I permed my hair. And I did it myself.

She was beside herself.

People. I got a day full of the kind of laughter that makes your ribs ache and your head hurt. The kind of laughter that releases some kind of happy chemical (who knows what its called, I'm not a scientist) that makes everything just a little better.

So maybe I made myself happy at someone else's expense. Ah, what can you do? It was worth it and although I might have upset Nat a little, I knocked a big ol' hole in my own darkness which means my kids and husband will have a happier mommy. Which means everyone will be happier.

An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity. -Martin Luther King, Jr.

Do you think I missed the point here? I do what I can.

the good news is. . .

I love National Public Radio.

And that's about the most political statement you'll ever hear me make publicly.

I don't talk politics with most people. Political opinions are just like all opinions and you know what they say about those.

I love NPR for several reasons. First, I love that there aren't annoying commercials for plastic surgery or pest control. Second, I think they give reliable world and domestic news even if it does have a liberal slant. And third, I love that they specialize in human interest stories.

Quite frankly, I've had enough news lately regarding the state of the economy and international relations. I'm sick to death of hearing about Iraq. I'm sorry if that offends you. I think it is a little like living next to Niagara Falls. After a while, even the most sensitive person doesn't hear the roar anymore.

I love that NPR features stories like the one I heard a few days ago about a lake with 45 letters in it's name, in Massachusetts called
Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg. The entire story was about how a couple signs in the town had misspellings in the name. It may sound boring, but it was in fact, very interesting. FYI- the name is Native American and it means, "You fish on your side, I'll fish on my side, and nobody fishes in the middle."

Today on All Things Considered, they did a story on Sam Maloof, who is a 93-year-old icon in the furniture design business. Sam is a delightful man and listening to the interview brightened my day considerably.

My good friend Andre the Greek was so sick of hearing depressing news that he started his own website called the Glee Report that only features good news.

However your political views may fall, tune into NPR while you are taxing the kiddos around or working or, I don't know, buffing the calluses off your heals. I guarantee you will learn something you will not soon forget.

Did that just sound like a commerial? I hope not.

you just can't take me anywhere

My mother used to say that. "I just can't take you kids anywhere." I realized two things yesterday. One, I really have never grown up, and two, she was right.

My sophisticated neighbor Denise took me to lunch at the Four Seasons for my birthday. I arrived before her and I was awestruck with the gardens. I couldn't help myself. I crawled around in the flower beds snapping photos with my iPhone. The gardeners looked on, dumbstruck that a guest would do such a thing. It didn't deter me. I've been called a señora blanca loca before.

We sat on the terrace overlooking the golf course and the bay. I sipped my diet coke in the shade of the yellow and white striped umbrella and hummed a little to myself. Denise was pleased that she could please me.

"Aren't we so lucky?" I asked with eyes closed to the sunshine.

"You mean to be eating lunch here?" Denise responded.

"To live here. To live in this amazing place? I mean look around you. This is paradise."

Denise looked around as if to consider the idea. Obviously she has spent more time in paradise than I have. She is accustomed to the good life.

On the other hand, paradise isn't just sprawling gardens and fancy silverware. It's having a soft place to fall. It's friends that laugh at your jokes. It's pink baby cheeks and family cuddles on a Sunday morning.

I don't think I'll ever get over that fact that I live at the beach. Every time I turn onto the coast highway I loose my breath. I think I will forever be crawling through gardens and yelling for people to come see the starfish in the tide pools. Hopefully, my paradise will always include people, like Denise and my friends and family, who humor me in my childish behavior.

today

Today I am happier than a squirrel with a doughnut.

Today I discovered a nest in the center of my rose tree with a baby bird in it.

Today my son sat next to me and I played with his hair and read him a book.

Today I bought sparkling lemonade and fresh flowers at the market.

Today I ate my lunch in the sunshine and fed small pieces of my sandwich to a bird with one leg.

Today I planted petunias in my backyard.

Today my mother asked me about having a baby shower.

Today I kissed the boys and told them I love them.

I have big plans for tomorrow.

we met with social services. . .

and I'm still smiling.

We meet with the social worker yesterday. This will be our third, yes third, homestudy we have done in an attempt to adopt. She heaved a thick folder into our laps and stated that we need to have all the forms filled out pronto.

We have three sets of fingerprints, which will bring my grand total to ten. I will have been fingerprinted ten times, so I guess that robbery I was planning is out of the question. See's Candy, you lucked out.

We will also have a foster parent class (that should be twelve hours of pure brilliance) and a CPR class to take. We have a billion forms to fill out and questions to answer to the best of our ability. We have two more personal interviews wherein we will sit directly in front of our doey eyed social worker and she speak in a soft, caring voice and ask all sorts of personal questions and pry into the neather reaches of our relationship. She will intermittently jot down notes on what kind of people she deems us to be and I will most likely have drink Pepto directly from the bottle before the interview is complete. We also have the home visit which will be a treat in and of itself.


Here's the good news.


I'm getting a baby. Did I tell you that? At the bottom of this massive stack of paperwork is a baby girl. And I can't wait.

I'm not sure how I'm going to make it through all this with my melon brain, but I'm going to give it my all. I'm going underground for a few weeks. My nose is to the grindstone. My shoulder is to the wheel. I'm burning the midnight oil.


I found this anonymous quote and it made me feel so much better about my current mental state.


“Some people think only intellect counts: knowing how to solve problems, knowing how to get by, knowing how to identify an advantage and seize it. But the functions of intellect are insufficient without courage, love, friendship, compassion and empathy.”

heads up

I decided to go off caffeine. Then I came to my senses.

In about eight weeks I am going to be so sleep deprived that I will require a caffeine drip. After Thom was born I was so sleepy that I actually ran into the side of the garage when I was pulling the car in. Caffeine=function.

But I did want to do something to make myself more healthy. So I started drinking Yogi Detox tea. It is an herbal tea that is supposed to rid your body of toxins. Each little tag has a saying or a fortune. Here's what mine said today:

I carefully licked my finger and dabbed up all the Girl Scout Cookie crumbs before taking this photo, least you think I sit home and eat cookies all day. But the plate looks so very lonely without them. Damn those, Girl Scouts and their tender morsels! They are irresistible.

The past few days have been full of nothing but happiness. Every time I tell someone about our baby girl the happiness bubbles inside me anew.

I always knew that people learn and grow in times of strife. What I am starting to realise is that happiness teaches you how to look at the world in such a way that you see cheery things everywhere you go. Happiness breeds happiness. I guess this is something I have always known, but right here, right now, it is real and tangible.


It really is all about perspective. Oh the things you can see when you are looking up! This cherry tree stole my breath away. I snapped and photo and dreamt of having such a tree in my own back yard.

Today, as you go about your daily business, don't listen to anything that is down or depressing. Look up. You will see something amazing. I promise.

victor bezrukov

irene suckocki

dispatches from cloud nine

My eyes fluttered open to the pink light of the rising sun. And then the happiness washed over me like a warm bubble bath. I'm going to have a baby. A baby girl.

And my son will get to have the sister he always wanted. I rolled out of bed and onto my knees. I really had to go, but first things first. I needed to thank the Lord. Again.

The crafting has begun. Emily taught me reverse applique yesterday. Why have plain onesies when you can embellish? Everything is better with pink. Don't you think?

I have a burning desire to share my happiness with everyone I know. I thought of taking lemon scones to all the neighbors but it seemed like too much work that might cut into my crafting time. I also thought about climbing to the top of our slope in the backyard and twirling around and singing "The Sound of Music", but I'm sure my neighbors already think I'm a little strange. And they wouldn't have dared eat any of my scones after a stunt like that.

So, I've settled on spreading a little joy to all my blog friends. I give you this.


This is how I feel today. I hope he infects your day with a little laughter and joy.

rosa colored goggles

I sat yesterday in a restaurant booth across from my good friend Rosa. Over steaming bowls of Tortilla soup, in broken English, she recounted her childhood experiences with a alcoholic father. As a scrawny seven-year-old girl she would wait late into the night for her father to come home so that she could try to keep him from beating her mother.

Rosa is from Oaxaca Mexico. She is a Zapotec Indian. She speaks Zapoteco. Spanish is her second language. English, her third. Her family still farms beans in a village about three hours out of Oaxaca where she grew up.

Rosa's life has not been an easy one. The circumstances that landed her in the United States are many and varied. She has worked and toiled and scrapped to build a life for her family. And she is only 34. She is three months younger than me and yet she has seen so much. I often think that my life has gone by fast. Rosa must need a pair of goggles for the whirlwind life she has lead so far.

Here's the amazing part.

Rosa is happy. She is quick to smile and easy to make laugh. She is hopeful. She is benevolent. She bears no bitter seeds of remorse or guilt. She has taken the lemons of life and made a huge batch of guacamole which she shares with everyone she meets.

I love Rosa. Every time I see her I get an overwhelming desire to look for all the happy things in my life.

That, and I'm also made to feel like a neanderthal. Zapotecs are tiny people. I don't think Rosa's hands are much larger than Thom's and she doesn't even clear my shoulders. I guess I should just be happy that I can reach the cereal down from the shelf.

On the happiness note, I would like to say, a cheerful thing about my life right now is the chocolate that I received after my pleas for "down day" donations. Thanks to everyone who cared enough about me to send a little sweetness my way. It really did help lift my spirits. Cocoa was actually discovered by the Mayans (also a Mesoamerican civilization) so it all ties in so nicely.

i have a dream. . .

I have a dream of raising a child who respects Mother Nature and learns the lessons she has to teach. I have a dream of a well behaved dog who infects our family with his carefree canineness.

I have a dream of well balanced life. Of making memories with friends and family. Of passionate kisses with my husband. Of walls covered in my children's art. Of a nation united. Of a flat stomach and tight butt. Of a clean laundry room. Of a sweet child to sleep in our nursery. Of many more days of my feet in the sand and my loved ones laughing in the waves.

Believe in family. Hope for health. Work for peace.

Happy Martin Luther's.

happy happy me

I've learned something about myself over the last few months. In order for me to be truly happy, I must have three things in my life.

1. My Family

2. Something fun to look forward to

3. Art

There is a fourth small variable of having a clean house, but I am working to let that one go a little. Life is too short to be cleaning all the time.

If I've got the three big ones goin on, I'm as happy as a clam and last weekend I hit all three spot on. I had the girls in my family over for a big fun day of art. We broke out all our fun papers and paint and made a huge mess in my kitchen. We cut and ripped and pasted. We all love art so much that at some point each of us actually squealed with excitement. The boy sat at the counter with his own paints and I was almost overcome with all the creativity in the room.

I loved the way my little prince bird turned out. I think I will hang him in my kitchen.

Just a note regarding Friday's giveaway. In order to be entered into the drawing, you must post the Suaviloquy graphic on you site with a link. Please leave address to the blog where you have posted. Thanks.