miracle

Do you ever marvel at every day things?

Take the United States Postal Service for example.  Now, I know there are many problems there. But really? Think about it. It's actually quite amazing. All the sorting and shuffling and machines and man power. I personally think it's fascinating.

How about the Golden Gate Bridge? Try to really wrap your mind around it.  You might blow a fuse.

And cameras.  The camera might be one of my most favorite of all inventions.  I like to think of it as a mechanical butterfly net. I can capture memories before they flutter away, out of my mind, forever.

I can remember how she often went down for her nap with the faintest of milk mustaches on her downey lips because the camera records it.

I can remember her little hands with dimpled knuckles.

I can capture all my beloved moments and keep them. Forever.  How amazing.

Sometimes I look at photos of myself as a child and I wonder if I would remember that moment if it hadn't been captured on film.  Would it have slipped away without the constant reminder of how everything looked when it happened?

A tin type photo of Billy the Kid just sold at auction for 2.3 million dollars.  It is the only known authenticated photo of him.  It is simply fabulous.  

Why would someone spend so much on an image? Because it's the closest anyone could  ever hope to get to actually seeing him in person.  It's history, captured.

I will never forget what she looked like on a summer afternoon in June when she awoke from her nap.

Never. Thanks to the camera. An everyday miracle.

twinkle twinkle little star

I attended a benefit lunch this past weekend. I sat next to a round Jewish grandmother named Millie, who happened to also be a jeweler.  She had stones on her fingers that made me feel like a big ol' moth to the flame. I simply couldn't stop staring.

Or drooling for that matter.

I'm a jewelry girl through and through. Diamonds go right to my heart.

So I said to Miss Millie, "Let's talk diamonds."

And she leaned in close and said, "Oh let's!"

So I told her how I'm saving a spot on my wedding band for the perfect cushion cut pink diamond. Pale pink with an orange blush to be precise.

"Yes. Yes. This can be done." she told me in a thick accent I couldn't quite place.

Her eyes twinkled. I knew I'd found a kindred spirit.

As an aside I need to reassure Sugar Daddy that I did not make any deals with Millie last weekend.

But I have her card...

on being brave

“I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately, I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, To put to rout all that was not life and not when I had come to die discover that I had not lived.”   ~ Henry David Thoreau

I don't know if I am brave in the way a solider is brave. Or in the way a cancer patient is brave.

I don't know. I haven't faced those enemies.  If I had to guess, I'd probably say that in a life or death situation, I'd freak out and talk everyone around me to death.

But I'm working on my everyday bravery.  I'm doing hard things. I'm stretching myself more than ever before.  I'm doing things that scare me.  I'm taking risks.

I was speaking with a woman the other day. She showed me photos of her family's trip to Asia.  I told her I'd love to go. I'd love to take our family on a adventure but the thought of getting on an airplane with two babies scares me to death.

She looked me in the eye and said, "Don't think about it. Just do it."

Indeed.

If people knew exactly what they were getting themselves into when they start a new venture, nobody would do anything.  My husband never would have gone to law school. We would have never had children. We would never have bought a house or got a dog or started our own businesses or taken our children to Disneyland. Not if we knew ahead of time what was in store for us.

I'm still not getting on an airplane for twenty hours with my babies, but I'm going to leap more. Push more. Seek out opportunity.  I want to suck the marrow out of this life.

Here's some food for thought: What is it you want? What's holding you back? Fear?

Come on. Jump with me.

a sticky situation

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

The first batch of taffy was cherry flavored and hard as a rock.  It went into the trash.

I followed the directions.  I did exactly what the experts told me to do.  It was frustrating, and when I could see where it was headed I cursed and stood in my kitchen with my fist on my hip trying to think where I must have gone wrong.

This is where I realized that baking candy is just like everything else in life.  If you desire to do something extraordinary, you must pay the piper.  There is a reason that most people buy salt water taffy.

In case you're wondering, the piper is paid with time and persistence.

Very few people fall into success.  Very few.  Some would have you believe that it was easy.  They don't admit to toil and strife. But I'm here to say that everything I've done in my life that has brought me  big rewards has cost dearly. The piper has grown rich on my exertions.  I think he has plans to retire to Dubai.

So I tightened my apron strings and went back to work.  This time I cooked the candy slower.  I made sure the sugar crystals were all melted. I enlisted the Sugar Daddy to help pull the candy.  It was pineapple flavor.

And we made taffy. And it's delicious.

But still, it is a little stiffer than what I want. It's dangerous for dental work.

So I will try again.  I will gather up the experience I have gained and put it to use.  I will try to be patient and persistent. Hopefully I will be rewarded.

I think the next batch will be apple.  Or maybe watermelon.

I wish all of life's problems could be so sweet.

i'm bored

Ahhhh. It's that lovely time of year when the phrase can be heard reverberating through the halls of home, "I'm bored Mom."  It can easily become the Summer mantra if you aren't prepared with an arsenal of activities to keep it at bay. 

Here's some of the things I have ready to dish out this season should the boy, heaven forbid, run out of things to do.

First off, the ice cream ball. We tried it out. It was super easy and it kept the boys occupied for at least a half hour.

We made pink peppermint.

Second idea: Where is it?

I went around my house with my iPhone and took a bunch of super tight photos of things found in different rooms.  The game is for Thom to try to remember where in the house the items can be found.

He wandered around the house for a good forty-five minutes trying to find where the picture were taken.

So, I shared. It's your turn. Gemme some ideas for easy time fillers. What do you say when your kid says, "Mom I'm bored."?

kitchen season

There are certain times of the year when the kitchen beckons to me like a lonely siren with a secret to tell.

Christmastime is a given. It is the season of cookies and sweet breads and prime rib.  Perry Como keeps me company, singing the holiday classics.

Then there is February. February means French onion soup and rosemary olive bread.  Clam chowder is a mainstay, as is roasted chicken with root vegetables.

And then there is a very short period of time in late June, right before Independence day.  It's strange, almost like a Indian summer. I like to think of it as my culinary muses last hurrah before the kitchen closes down for the season.

Now during this Indian summer of kitchen time, my thoughts always turn to candy.  There are a few cold pasta salads to be had, but for the most part, it's candy.  

Last year I made sea foam. It was delectable, and I will be making it again soon. But before that project, I have a little something I've been wanting to try.

 vanilla and lace

I've gathered up all the supplies. We are going to pull some taffy!

Pictures to follow. Or maybe not. Depending.

Also, has anyone out there tried the ice cream ball? I just ordered one. Lately I'm into making my children work for their treats. You know, like circus poodles.

wanderlust

dear morocco

I got me a bad case of wanderlust. I got it something fierce.

I've been dreaming of spices and old buildings and beads. Always beads. And noodles.

I have a passport that sits in our safe. Just sits there.  Ready. Empty pages.

I'm hungry for inspiration. I want to see something I've never seen before. Something I never knew existed. 

Lately my thoughts have leapt out of the box.  So far out of the box they cross oceans and continents. They fly over London and through the streets of Paris. They take me to the markets of Marrakech and on Safari in Tanzania.  

The Sugar Daddy humors me so. I talk and talk. He listens, and on occasion throws in an idea or two. At the end of the day, when we lay our heads down to sleep, he says, "Sleep tight big dreamer."

And dream I do. Of Chinese fire dragons and aboriginals playing the didgeridoo. And beads. 

Always beads.

for the record

Henry Wyatt 10 weeks old

I've been thinking about infertility. Not sure why.

I don't have any grand bit of wisdom to impart.  I don't understand the complex emotions involved. I can't tell you how to deal with it.

But I know I made it through something like twelve years of wanting a child.  I know I am now standing on the other side of that trial and au revoir to that thankyouverymuch.

As I sit here on my sofa typing this, with slobber spots on my pants and little finger prints all over the furniture, these are the things that come to my mind. It's not wisdom. It's just what I know.

The joy we experienced when our children finally arrived was equal to, and may have even exceeded, the sorrow we felt at our darkest moments.

Unlike childbirth, you never forget the pain of not being able to have a child.

Just because you wanted children for much longer than most people doesn't mean your kids won't drive you up the wall. Just because you went through hell to get them here doesn't mean they will appreciate it. At the end of the day, you are just a parent like any other.

Refraining from buying baby things until you are pregnant is just a silly way of trying to insulate your feelings. Go ahead and buy stuff. It will put you ahead of the game when it finally happens.  Wanting those little baby things means you still have hope.

Feeling bitter and nasty towards others who are having babies is completely normal. It doesn't make you a bad person. However, if you behave badly in these circumstances, down the road the bitterness you feel will be of regret.

When you have infertility you must think of it as a war. You will loose battles. It will be expensive.  Plans will be made and then cast aside for new plans.  If you want to win, you will not retreat.  You will regroup and press forward.

And you will need a good mate for the fox hole. If this relationship isn't right, you might want to lay low and reconsider.

Here's the last thing I know. It took me years to realize this. In fact, it only dawned on me a few months ago.  I could never figure out why I had to go through infertility. What was I supposed to learn? Why was that part of my life path?

Here's what I know today. I had to experience infertility to lead me to adoption. I had to wait for my adopted children because at the time I started wanting them their birth mother was only fourteen. My children were to be born by this girl and only this girl. That was the plan. Sometimes the Lord has to work with logistics.

I'm not at all sure why I am writing this today.  Maybe there is someone out there that needs to hear this? I don't know.

But I'm writing it down. For the record.

it's coming...

So. Jewelry.

Ah yes. Jewelry.  I will only have one jewelry collection this year.  Life is such. You know how it is. But let me tell you. Seriously. It's going to be spectacular.

Not only will it be a large collection, but the individual pieces will be large statement pieces.  There will also be smaller, conservative pieces for those of you out there a little daunted by turquoise the size of silver dollars.

I'm working away. Finding time here and there to design and fabricate.  The collection will also have an accompanying look book that will be sent to other designers and the like.

Suaviloquy readers will be the first to see the collection. I will put the look book here first and I will reserve items for readers through email.  The collection will then be available at the Spark Artisan Market. Finally, it will go into the shop.

I'm shooting for mid September.

Fingers crossed that everyone loves it as much as I do!

one boy's summer

One of my good friends, Tara Whitney said she was making her kids "Summer" baskets for the last day of school.  I thought it was a great idea, and it just might help alleviate some the mom guilt I have over not being able to help out in the class room for Thom much this past school year.

We have a fun summer planned and I want to kick it off in style.  I made Thom and his buddy matching pillowcases for sleep overs.  Pillowcases are fun to make because they don't take any time and and if you find your fabric on sale, they can be really cheap.  You will need about a 3/4 yard to make a standard pillowcase. Buy a full yard if you want contrasting fabric on the edge.

Here's the other things in Thom's "Summer 2011" basket:

Big League Chew

Roasting Sticks & Marshmellows

Pool Toys

Underwater Camera

Twizzlers

Summer Reading Books & Chart

Glow Sticks

Beach Ball

Sketch Book

Bug Bracelet

Flip Flops

Sparklers

Zinka Sunblock

Bottled Rootbeer

Got any other great ideas? His last day is tomorrow.