knocking holes in the darkness

Friday was a bad day. The big trial that Sugar Daddy won is going to be retried. The thought of going through the whole thing again makes me feel like I have a tape worm stretched from my throat to my bowels.

On Friday I was pretty distraught.

Then a little miracle happened.

I happened to be listening to Rev. Kyles being interviewed on NPR about Martin Luther. This is what he said:


It is said that Robert Louis Stevenson was a man who never enjoyed good
health.He spent a lot of time in his room even as a child. He was always looking out the window. His nurse asked him one day, Robert, what are you doing? He said, I'm watching that old man knock holes in the darkness. She said, what are you talking about?

He would climb up the ladder and light the light, come down, move the ladder to the next pole, climb up, come down, move the ladder. And everywhere he would light a light it appeared to him with his little quick mind that a hole was being knocked in the darkness.

And so I'm suggesting that those of us who have the strength and the ability, we should be knocking holes in the darkness. So, Martin Luther King came to Memphis - it was a dark place to come, but he came and he came knocking holes in the darkness.


One of life's great truths is that if Mama aint happy, aint nobody happy.

So I had to find a way to myself snap myself out of it.

For some time now, I've been considering a perm. Yes, I know this hearkens back to the regrettable fashion era known as the eighties.

But. I was thinking of just getting a body perm. Natalie was in total agreement. She thought it was a great idea. She has curly hair herself and I think she is somewhat partial. She encouraged me to go for it.

I knew I needed a good laugh to lighten things up around here, sooooo......



Not to worry. I only slept in foam rollers. But Natalie didn't know that.

I totally convinced her that going on her advice I permed my hair. And I did it myself.

She was beside herself.

People. I got a day full of the kind of laughter that makes your ribs ache and your head hurt. The kind of laughter that releases some kind of happy chemical (who knows what its called, I'm not a scientist) that makes everything just a little better.

So maybe I made myself happy at someone else's expense. Ah, what can you do? It was worth it and although I might have upset Nat a little, I knocked a big ol' hole in my own darkness which means my kids and husband will have a happier mommy. Which means everyone will be happier.

An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity. -Martin Luther King, Jr.

Do you think I missed the point here? I do what I can.

fat camp

The stress has come home to roost. And when I say "come home" I mean on my thighs.

I may or may not have been eating Now and Laters and Fritos into the wee hours of the evening on more than one occasion.

So.

I was totally game when I came downstairs to find that Natalie, a.k.a. Rosie, had typed up a weight loss plan for me. Evidently she was a little tired of hearing me complain about tight jeans as I stuffed as much bread pudding into my mouth as possible.

I was genuinely excited about our twice a day work-outs and smaller portions of healthier food.

"And", she added, "Only one sweet per week."

"Yes. Yes. You're right. No more bread pudding! Skinny jeans here I come!" I was really getting pumped up.

"And..." she held up her hand to calm me, "and I hid your secret chocolate stash."

Excusez moi si vous plait?

When Rosie was little, her taste buds didn't develop correctly and she doesn't like chocolate so she had no idea what she had done. I stood in stunned silence and watched her prepare to eat her lunch.

That chocolate stash was there for my health! I heard once on Oprah that eating an ounce of dark chocolate everyday was like taking a vitamin and I have lived that gospel for some years now.

I tapped my finger on the counter and slowed my breathing.

"Okay then, put the moussaka back in the fridge." I said right before she took her first bite.

"Really?"

"Yes really. Healthier food. Remember?"

So far, I'm up two pounds.

I went to see Hans to get rid of my hag hair and to hear the gossip. Hans is a show in and of himself. He told me I need a staff.

Should I be offended by that?

He told me all kinds of juicy little tidbits about his ex-wife and about opening day at the Del Mar Race Track. He told me about all the different hats the women wore and the linen suits the men wore. He described what a mint julep tastes like.

I told him about the baby barf and described what it's like to eat your lunch while you water the plants and scoop the dog poop in the yard before the baby wakes up and the barfing starts anew.

That's when he said I need a staff.

People- my staff has arrived.

Rosie recently graduated with a degree in Human Performance and she fled the state of Utah for the balmy San Diego climate. She moved in with us until she finds a job and her own place. She is personal trainer, cook, childcare and girlfriend all wrapped into one.

She is my staff.

Do you think she would be offended if I introduced her as such?