Monday, August 18, 2008

the zone

Pure Joy

Lately, I'm really in The Zone. In case you are unaware, The Zone is when you come to a time in the life of your child/kids and you no longer have to be Supermom, with bionic hearing and lightening quick reflexes. You loose the bulge in your biceps you got from constantly carrying a child around and the olfactory glands that once allowed you to distinguish your own kids poop from everyone else's kids at Disneyland shrinks back to it's normal function. You start to think about wearing white pants again. That's where I am. The Zone.

Anywho, you'd think I'd be thrilled to be here. After all, The Zone also means that you can remain parked on you butt, Diet Coke in hand at the beach while all your friends with toddlers, chase, wipe, comfort, pick-up, dig, change, rinse, adjust, follow, nurse and brush the sand off their kids. Me? I just bellow at the boy every now and then to make sure he stays in my sights. It's a wonderful thing. You'd think I'd be thrilled to be here.

But I'm not. Nope. I want a baby. I miss babyland. I wish I could go back in time and spend just one day with Thom as a one-year-old. In between the running around and supermom work, there are moments of pure joy. I want that again.


Jill said...

You are an amazing mom and any child would be lucky to be in your family. But I know that's little comfort when you're wanting something so badly. Please know that we love you guys and will continue to pray for you!

becpuls said...

Hang in there. Your dreams will come true. I don't know if you remember but I bought a necklace from you for my sister that said "BELIEVE". I have never forgotten the power of that word. You are in my prayers.

Kari said...

I remember that feeling and I'm sorry. May your wishes be granted sooner than later.

Jamie said...

Hey April, Its your long lost cousin Jamie. I Totally know how you feel! It is such a crapy feeling not being able to have babies. It was nice finding your blog. Does any of your family have blogs?