Tuesday, May 04, 2010

just cuz your breathing it doesn't mean you're alive

Henry 6 weeks

Sometimes at the end of the day, after the Boy and the Bird are fast asleep, I hold my baby. I lay him on my chest over my heart. I nuzzle my face into his neck and breath his sweet baby smell and his downy baby hair tickles my nose.

We take deep breaths together. He grunts and whinnies and stretches but he always resettles back into me as if there was some sort of magnetic force pulling us together. Who knows, maybe their is such a force between mothers and their babies.

There have been days lately when I haven't felt human. Honestly I feel like a robot mommy. Change the diapers, make the bottles, pick up the toys, bathe the baby, haul the kids to the car, buckle, get the snacks, wash the onesies, etc. etc. etc.

I don't think, I just do. Just get er' done.

But every now and then I snap out of it. I will glace over at my daughter, squatting on chubby legs, stacking blocks or trying to wrap her baby doll in a blanket and my heart sings. I feel more alive than ever.

And at night, when the house is quiet, when I breath with Henry, I am reminded that this is life. This is what it is all about.

And I don't want to miss it.

I will continue on with all the daily chores. I will take care of my family to the best of my ability. But from here on out, I'm making a little promise to myself that I will open my eyes and watch my children grow.


Heather at All A Flutter said...

wonderful post!

Jill said...

I'm making that promise right along with you. They grow up too fast, so enjoy that little downy hair.

Jessica Munk said...

I feel exactly the same way. When I do make the break in "to do's", I love to see them learn something new. I need to participate in it more often! Thanks for sharing :)

alteredbits said...

what a wonderfully sweet post! thank you! i remember those days, sniffing my little man. he's seven and stinky now... so it's just not the same.

thank you for your sweet comment on my blog. i just replied but the email was returned to me for some reason. :(