Friday, October 07, 2011

stay the course

The truth is I'm writing this post for myself more than anything else.

Yesterday made my head hurt. It gave me a dull ache behind my eyes and bungled up all my thoughts so I couldn't put two and two together. You know these days?

And quite frankly, at midnight last night I really wanted to be done.

But I couldn't be done because I was helping a friend on some graphics she needed first thing in the morning. I was committed.

When I say I wanted to be done, I mean, I wanted to be done for the evening and for good.  I had hit that point when you want to just throw all your hard work in the trash and eat yourself a bunch of calories. Preferably in the form of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey.

There's always that certain tipping point when you start to wonder why you are doing what you are doing and what you are getting out of it and if it is all worth it.

My parents always said, "Don't give up what you want most, for what you want now."  Every time I hit that tipping point they would say this to me. So now, as an adult, it pops into my head, like Bob Marley's ghost, when I want to give up.

These are the sorts of things that parents do to their children that can put them into therapy.

But the truth of this particular mantra has been proven to me time and time again.

And so I have decided to stay the course. I'm not going walk away from everything I really want because right now I can barely keep my crap together.

I am not going to eat that Ben and Jerry's and ruin my hard work at the gym.

But I am going to have a Dove chocolate and waste a half hour on Pintrest.

So there.


My first show airs today on My Craft Channel. I'm a little freaked out that my geekiness is being exposed. So watch, but don't judge. Being in front of a camera is not my cup o' tea. I stumble over my words a lot, but my nails look fabulous.


Laurie LaRiviere said...

I'll be sure to check out your show, I know what you mean about bad days...yesterday sitting at a light, some guy just rams into me, smashes the back of my new mini van...ugh...and as far as giving up goes, some days I feel the same way, been trying to get on a design team for scrapbooking for year now, no such luck, I feel like my stuff is just as good as others, but the competition is just so tough, but I am going to keep trying, just like you, as far as the diet goes, that I give up on, just had a donut that was seriously good :)

JENNY K. said...

Just watched the episode. You did great! I had no idea that those flowers I have been seeing everywhere were made with polymer clay. I guess it's because they're shiny and clay is dull in nature. Now I know there's a glaze.

oldgreymare said...

I read you faithfully, rarely comment..bad blogger no excuses

anyhoot just went over to this site, never heard of it, and watched your video. You did great. I teach classes in my home. Have one this weekend and I always feel like a dork and I've been doing it over 25 years...
As you got going you got into your groove which I feel I do too. Anyhoot - you were real and it will only get easier.

Congrats to you! and my Dad's advice says with me like a big comfy sweater most of the time and a scratchy hair shirt other times lol

lorie said...

Hey, you did great, April. Just watched your show. You're a natural. See you VERY soon!

Dawn said...

I just watched your show and you did Great!!!

shona said...

Brilliant motivational poster, exactally what I need right now. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

This poster and this particular blog really spoke to the place I am in my life. Thanks for sharing.