Monday, October 12, 2009

answered prayers

The Lord decided to answer my most fervent prayer in Michael's Craft store.

The Lord often answers my prayers in Michael's, but they are more of the please Lord let them have brass lobster clasps so I don't have to schlep my kids to the bead store variety.

This one was a biggy.

I went to Michael's for crystals, glue sticks and glitter, you know, the essentials. I got all these things and the answer to a prayer that has been weighing deeply on my heart.

Lately, when Sugar Daddy and I crawl into bed at the end of the day, we are exhausted. We look at each other too tired for any hanky panky other than footsie and we say, "Seriously. I don't think we can handle another child." So we lay there playing footsie and talk about how hard the day was. How Birdie spit up a billion times and cried every time we put her down. We talk about how sassy Thom can be and what we are going to do about that. We say, "We just aren't cut out for more. We can't do it."

And we turn out the lights and I roll onto my side and think about Birdie and how she is the little girl I always wanted and how she makes me feel complete and whole, even if she does wear me out and stain all my clothes.

I'm good, I'd think, I'm perfectly happy with two.

But there remained a little nagging feeling at the very back of my consciousness.

I was crouched down looking at the meager selection of embossing powder when I over heard a mother in the other isle. "Don't touch that Ella. Come here Ella. No Ella. I said don't touch. Don't push your sister Ella. Ella!"

I had to get a look at this Ella character.

A beautiful, fit, pulled together woman came around the corner followed by two little girls in matching outfits. They looked to be about the same age. Ella was fair with curly hair and big round eyes full of mischief. Her sister was dark with black hair and eyes and a shy quiet demeanor.

I'm not sure what came over me. I am usually shy and a little reticent in public, but I felt an overwhelming need to know.

"Excuse me, but do you mind me asking? Did you adopt your one daughter from China?"

She didn't skip a beat."Yes! And Ella is only four months younger! We got pregnant with her using IVF."

"So tell me, how is it? I might be headed down the exact same road and quite frankly, I don't know if I can do it."

"It's wonderful." She said. And I knew she really meant it.
And then she ran after Ella who was pulling something apart.

We talked for some time right there in the yarn isle.

So this is how, on a Wednesday afternoon, in Micheal's Craft store, the Lord told me that, yes, indeed there is another child that needs to come to our family and yes, I will be able to handle it.


Jill said...
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Jill said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jill said...

I have NO doubts, whatsoever, that you CAN handle another child, my dear! You are an amazing, wonderful, incredible wife and mother and a treasured friend. One day, you will hold your dark haired, dark eyed baby and you will say, "I can do this." I know. I'm there right now.

Love you more than you know ... ME

BTW ... HAPPY FALL! It's our favorite time of year. It takes me back to the days when we used to visit a lovely little place in Nebraska. HUGS!

Shelly and Todd said...

I think there is a corralation between women that "understand and get it" when it has to do with adoption and when you approached that mom, inside she was GLEAMING to answer your questions.
It's a good pride. A pride that says, we believe in miracles....see!!!! Let me share how wonderful this child is and how my heart has softened in a way it doesn't with your own biological children.
I have known I wanted to adopt since I was 16 (12 years ago) husband is all for it.
We've been waiting...not sure what for, money? Time? Health issues...?? But, when your prayers are answered in the middle of Michaels it's hard to ignore it and not embrace that indeed, this IS the time.
Good Luck with your endeavor and I look forward to reading about it right here on your blog :)

Emilee said...


Corinne said...

Its these little signs that move us along in our hearts when doubt swirls in our heads.

Faux Martha said...

I never tire of reading your blog... Thanks for the inspiration.

tollestrupfamily said...

You did it again - you made me cry! I know what it is ilke to get an answer you kind of half want and half don't want. In the moment you are so sure and so positive then you wake up from the spiritual high and look at your life and wonder if Heavenly Father got you confused with a uber capable mother that can handle more than you can. Having said that you can totally handle it. Ivory and I were recently having a convo about how mellow you are now. I mean for the chicken at the party you didn't even ask for a recipe or really care what kind of chicken we were bringing. I wanted to ask you who took my friend April and who was I talking to. You can TOTALLY handle another! To have a new baby and throw a dinner party with such flair I might even say you could have 2 more......;)

Christy Pair said...

You can do it! Found your blog through another and thought of you when I saw this book at Target. I have a 2 year old and 4 month old twins- you can do it!!!

Rebecca said...

You can do it and you will do it and then some day when your kids are grown and out of the house, you'll wish you could do it all again.

margie said...

when I got pregnant the 4th time with Griff and brooke was 2 and max was not more than an infant I wondered the same thing...How am I going to do it? Three kids under the age of 3? What was the Lord thinking? There are still days when I ask that...Here is what I know...I'm not in charge...I do believe that to be sure...
I love this post...I love your desire to be a mother...She is out there waiting for you...
Kiss kiss

Karen said...

I just discovered your blog tonight - it is wonderful! Beautifully written - simply delightful.

I love your jewelry descriptions on your Etsy shop, too. Bravo!