Friday, June 12, 2009

good morning sunshine

I painfully opened just one eye this morning.

The room was strewn with bottles. Piles of soiled clothing dotted the floor. The sun singed my retina so I quickly shut my eye. I took stock of my limbs. One leg was totally void of any feeling. The sheets were twisted tightly above the knee forming a very effective tourniquet. My arms had evidently gained fifty pounds each while I slept. There was no moving.

Hazy images rolled through my brain of the night before. The drinking, the singing, the slow dancing in the dark. The poopy diapers and formula powder.

Then I remembered the baby. My eyes flew open in a panic and found her nestled in the sheets as happy and pink as a puppy's tongue. Oh good. She was asleep. Finally asleep. I closed my eyes again. What a wild night we'd had.

Crunch crunch crunch. What's that sound? What's that smell?

"Mooooommmmm. Mommmmyyyy."

He was two inches from my face. He had a bag of cheddar Sun Chips.

"You were asleep so I got my own breakfast. Are you going to get up now? Get up Mom. Wakey wakey eggs and bakey!"

Who taught him that saying? Why is it so bright in here? Oh the inhumanity!

"What time is it?"

"Let me see. . .six, dot, dot, three, two, A."

I released my leg of the tourniquet and tried to lay motionless while the blood returned.

"Hey Thomas, be a dear and fetch your old mom a Red Bull will ya?"

"Uh. Okay. Can I get a cherry soda for me too?"

"Thom, it's six thirty in the morning."

"Well you're having a Red Bull."


"Oh alright."

And so starts our day.

I'm expecting the Mom of the Year award any day.


Laura said...

Oh sweetheart, hate to disappoint, but I claimed that awards years ago.

brooke said...

i love it...c and i always joke about the two inches from your face horrible child morning breath requesting breakfast...thank goodness penny has decided she loves this chore and now does so for her and meg without asking...but not even your wild night stories can deter me from having baby envy of your gorgeous little gal...

side note: does the red bull not have effects on your skin? i was lovin me a full throttle daily but had to stop because my skin was in chaos mode...just wondering...

Jerusalem said...

oh yes, the chaotic messy joys of 2 are living it beautifully!

Jamie said...

Ha ha oh the joys of motherhood!

FitToSeeJane said...

That second paragraph is priceless!

Shelby said...

so funny! I've had days just like that before...and you've got me addicted to Red Bull now!!!!

Those two cuties.

Anonymous said...

yep, sounds like a pretty average morning to me. only swap red bull for coke. and cherry soda for dr pepper.

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

What a sweet post...motherhood....

I enjoyed reading your blog this afternoon...Had some time to do some blog hopping...always enjoy finding new blogs!

Hope you will visit me. This month I am posting on our Disney trip.

The Pereira Family said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
3 Peas Designs said...

ever thought of writing a book of your adventures? i would read the heck out of it. :)