an empty room

Last night I was weak and foolish. I allowed myself to look at blogs that speculate about the wait for Chinese adoption. One site estimated that we should receive a referral for our daughter in June 2015.

I tiptoed through the dark up to my boy's room. I stood and listened to him breathing. I smelled his hair and held his hand. Then I walked down the hall to the empty room. The crib is still up from when Thom slept in it. The sheets are on the mattress. Pink clothes are hanging in the closet. We are waiting. It is hard.