Henry 1 Month
Well, I've kept calm and carried on. I think I just might be able to swing this whole thing.
It really helps that my children are so beautiful they melt my heart. That's one of the perks about adopting. You can brag about how cute your kids are without any implication that you, yourself are in someway responsible.
I did have a moment this evening when I felt compelled to do a little sketching and Amelie wouldn't leave me alone. I think the fear I have over mothering these two babies isn't in my ability to take good care of them. I think it lies with the fact that I am really afraid that I'll loose my temper. In mom guilt world, loosing your temper equals failure for the day.
I haven't worked out in like, sheesh, months. I have roots so long people are making comments about my natural hair color. I have a hag hair growing out of my chin and chipped paint on my toenails.
The last thing I need is to feel like a failure on top of all the other ugliness going on.
So I think I will take the advice of one of my dear readers and cry a little in the bathtub (while I shave my legs, I look like a lumberjack) and eat a little chocolate and spend some me time in my studio everyday. With the door locked.
And then I will come out and hug my babies and count my blessing and keep my temper in check.
That's my grand plan anyway.
Sometimes, however, you must fail to succeed.