Friday, April 30, 2010

thank you master of the obvious

I'm going to admit something here and now that I find terribly shameful.

For the last week, I haven't remembered to brush my teeth in the morning. Around two I run my tongue over my teeth and they feel a little, well, fuzzy, and it's then that I remember.

Please bear in mind that when I'm in my right mind I'm an avid brusher. I worked in the dental field for years for heaven sakes. Plaque is my mortal enemy.

I'm a little out of sorts, you know, with two babies and all.

Here's another little thing that's been bothering me:

When the little old lady at the grocery store looks at me with one baby strapped on my body and the other baby strapped into the cart and says, "My, you really have your hands full!", I smile back and say, "Yep I sure do."

But in my mind I think, thank you so very much, Master of the Obvious. You've been here on Earth for like a hundred years and this is all you got? No sage advice? No even a little pity? Can't you see that my daughter has started eating the bananas through the peel? Can't you see that MY TEETH ARE YELLOW????

And really she was just a cute little old lady making small talk. And I know that. But I hate her anyway.

As long as I'm being honest I should also say that I have become the person I always hated who never returns the shopping cart. I just abandon them right there in the middle of the parking lot. That's me. Sorry.

These things are the truth. Ugly. I know. But I'll tell you something else...

Babies don't care if you have bad breath and yellow teeth. They love you anyway.

And being loved like that feels so very nice.


Shelley said...

We like to loving refer them as "Captain Obvious"!! As far as the carts go, my excuse is: 1) you hire people to do that job and 2) why would I want to walk half way across the parking lot w/ babies in the hot car that some else can nab? So there, it's a saftey thing!

Anonymous said...

hello Smiles:) OK first this post is way 2 funny NOT to laugh out loud:)...Honesty is a good therapy. Your a MOMMY!!! be strong, be beautiful, and be AWSOME! even if you loose yourself for a few days or even weeks...sooner then later when they grow a bit more you will be back to normal...if theres any :) I know I raised 4 kids:) Oh the Love and Joy of chicadies! they are our Life! our Joy! our US!!! so keep doing a great Job!!! and capture each precious moments!!! it will fly by oh so quick:) luv em

CFO- Chief Family Officer said...

Oh, April! Its so fun to hear you go through life! I love your blog, especially the REAL you. Now you don't judge us that abandon carts or walk past the trash on the ground as much, because you can relate to well- the hectic life of being a down in the trenches mommy!!! The teeth things a little gross, but hey I've done worse! Just ask my 13 year old when I drive him to school in my 14 year old pink robe!

Holly said...

I need a snappy comeback for the people who EVERY SINGLE TIME I'm in the grocery store with the baby ask some variation of
"What aisle did you find that on?"

Lynnae said...

Agree with the shopping cart issue. I couldn't leave the kids to go two isles over to the 'cart corral'. Don't sweat it. My kids are big now and I always put the cart away to make up for it.

robyncal said...

Ahhh you made me laugh and then cry! so true so true.

I hope you had a fan-tab-u-lous Mother's Day!

Cindy at LottieBird said...

ah, I remember the "how do you do it all?" question. My answer: I don't. Sometimes the boys eat vienna sausages in the car on the way to Mom's Morning Out--or wherever. I could feed them as I drove. And we think talking on the cell is dangerous.

Vienna Sausages. Shameful.