Tuesday, October 05, 2010

the fallacy of the PTA mom

I had such great intensions yesterday to get out the ol' camera and capture some of the projects happening around our abode.  But the weather had other plans for me.  I only shoot in natural light and there hasn't been much of that these past few days.

So I ran errands in the morning rain which is a monumental task with two squirmy babies to wrangle.  Then I came back home, filled their bellies and put them to bed. I started some tortilla soup and a load of laundry. I turned on Pandora and sat listening to the music and the rain and worked on projects for the party.

It was a very cozy day but it left me with no photos to share with you.  So I'm taking this opportunity to blog about something that's been on my mind as of late.

The question I get asked most by my blog readers is "How do you do everything? Where do you find the time?"  And my answers is this: I don't do everything.

I don't iron my husbands shirts. I don't weed my yard. I don't watch television. I don't go to soccer games. I don't sign up to clean the church house. I don't make big breakfasts. I don't do my hair every day or even wear make-up to the grocery store. And I sure as hell don't volunteer to be on the PTA board.

I had to streamline my life. I had to cut out those things that are either a) so difficult to do with two babies they aren't worth the effort or b) not substantially enriching to me or my family.

I gave up feeling guilty that I didn't jump at the chance to be the room mom or part of the PTA.  After all, I still make cookies, just not for the whole class. Maybe being on the PTA is what fuels other women.  That thought boggles my mind, but I know it must be true.  And thank goodness there are people out there that want to do it.  I won't sign up, but I'd give a solid knuckle bump to any mom who rocks it at her kids school.

There is no such thing as the mom that does it all. It's a fallacy. It may look like someone is able to accomplish way more than you are capable of doing, and maybe they can. But who cares?  I ask you- who cares? I can tell you right now it isn't your kids.

Chances are, most of you do more than I do. But like I said, I gave up feeling guilty.  My kids have a mom who is a crazy art freak, but they also have a mom who is there to catch them when they fall and bake cookies to make them happy.

Just for them. Not the whole class.

For now.


From the Kitchen said...

Hear, hear! When my boys were small, they came home to freshly baked cookies (sometimes), one asked for a "key to wear around my neck" (he wanted me to go to work I think). I had fun without commitment (well, the commitment was to my family) and treasure every minute (mostly) that I gave to them. Now they are grown up and too far away for warm cookies. Instead of baking, I'm now volunteering (a little here and there) and loving it. Alas, there is no PTA office held to put on my resume. Oh well!


Joan Crandall said...

You can do what I do - "join the PTA" i.e. - donate money and call it a day! Then you can still have all the satisfaction of helping the school without actually being on campus ;). You are still a supermom in my book!

Heather Carson said...

I <3 your posts! Solid knuckle bump back attcha :)

Jody B. said...

Thank you, thank you! It's always so nice to read what I've been thinking when someone else (YOU!) is able to word it much more eloquently!

Hilary said...

Hmmm... I'm not sure I totally agree with this. I honestly think it's more important to help out at your kids school then it is to bake them cookies. I'm not saying you need to be on the PTA board or sign up for everything but I'm a HUGE believer in helping out in classrooms.
But, to each their own. I think you do need to find what's most important and put your focus there.

And I wish us all luck with that.

Erika said...

Sometimes you have your hands so full with life and the demands of little needy children that something has got to give, so I totally understand where you are coming from April. I was exactly the same way when I had 3 little ones to care for and a busy husband who wasn't home much. I had four kids under the age of 5 and couldn't even think of going and helping at school for quite a while. Yes, it is so important to be involved in school and your child's education, but like the famous scripture says, THERE IS A TIME AND A SEASON. Now all my kids are in school and now is MY season to go help a little when I can. And like you said, this is "for now" for you. This is your season, and I think you are doing just great.

melissa said...

Isn't it funny the guilt thing. But I realize on my sane days that if I didn't do something creative my kids would hate me. Things would be pretty bleak around here. I am coming to realize that without the projects, our lives (meaning my kids, my husband, and myself) would be depressing and sad. So lets celebrate what we have and what we love to do!