Wednesday, October 27, 2010

i don't know

I have two friends struggling with life right now.  One girl lives thousands of miles away. The other lives very close.  One girl has been my good friend for some years. I meet the other girl through this blog but we have never met in person. One friend has a wayward husband, the other a wayward teen.  Both friends mean a lot to me.

In the last week, both these friends have come to me with their trials.  They have laid them at my feet.  I have listened to the desperation in their voices. I have worried and fretted along with them.

And I feel so very inadequate. I have no experience regarding the issues they are facing.  I don't know why they have been given such heavy burdens. I just don't know.  And I've told them as such.

I've been thinking and thinking of something wise or profound to say to these friends to make a small difference. I've racked my brain. I've got nothing.

Sometimes I wonder what exactly I have learned in this life.  I find myself, more often than not, simply perplexed by what goes on.  I know people that have the gift of perspective. They always seem to be able to help me see things a little clearer. I'm not one of these people. I usually make things worse by saying, "Man, that sucks" or "I just don't get it."

So, after much thought, I decided to create a little graphic for them.  It's a small offering considering the magnitude of the issues they are facing. I don't know how to solve their problems. But I know they will need courage for the battle.

I wish I could wrap up courage in a box and give it to them. Instead I will remind them to find it within themselves everyday.

And I'll be here to listen when they need to talk.

You are free to download my graphic too. Put it on your mirror or fridge or tucked away where only you can see it.  

"Courage dosen't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow." - Mary Anne Radmacher


DomestiKatie. said...

sometimes the most wonderful words in the world to hear are actually, "man that sucks." or "i just don't know."
because then at least the heart isn't wallowing around in the pits of hell for no reason.
you're a beautiful person, and just being a source of strength for others and offering compassion is all some of us ever really need.

Anonymous said...

What a lovely, real and honest post. You are a gem and I'm sure those ladies feel blessed to have you as a friend. (And the courage download is beautiful. Thanks)

oldgreymare said...

Most times listening is the kindest act we can do for our friends. Facing the horrible trials out loud is the first step in dealing and moving forward.

It is also important to do exactly what you are doing, letting them know you believe they are strong enough to overcome this bad bump in the road, or at the very least learn to adjust to their new reality.

You are honored to have their trust.


tollestrupfamily said...

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hello*lucky*holly said...

“There are cycles of good and bad times, ups and downs, periods of joy and sadness, and times of plenty as well as scarcity. When our lives turn in an unanticipated and undesirable direction, sometimes we experience stress and anxiety. One of the challenges of this mortal experience is to not allow the stresses and strains of life to get the better of us—to endure the varied seasons of life while remaining positive, even optimistic. Perhaps when difficulties and challenges strike, we should have these hopeful words of Robert Browning etched in our minds: 'The best is yet to be'”
L. Tom Perry

hello*lucky*holly said...

I just taught the RS lesson from the talk "Turn to the Lord" while preparing it I found SO many wonderful quotes. I feel like these two go hand in hand.

"We will each face times of difficulty, and the question is not when we will face them but how we will face them."
James B. Martino

We improve our relationship with our Heavenly Father by learning of Him, by communing with Him, by repenting of our sins, and by actively following Jesus Christ, for “no man cometh unto the Father, but by [Christ].” To strengthen our relationship with God, we need some meaningful time alone with Him. Quietly focusing on daily personal prayer and scripture study, always aiming to be worthy of a current temple recommend—these will be some wise investments of our time and efforts to draw closer to our Heavenly Father. Let us heed the invitation in Psalms: “Be still, and know that I am God.”

Phyllis said...

I have been that person facing really hard things in the past (and I know some will come in the future) and having a trustworthy friend to let me pour all my feelings out to was such a blessing. Now I find myself on the other end - listening and sympathizing and crying with friends and hoping and praying that being there to listen lets my friends know they are not alone in this and that there is hope. It is a wonderful thing to have a friend to hold you up when you don't think you can go on.

Thanks for the courage download and know that listening is a blessing to your friends.

Elizabeth said...

I think that's a perfect thing to say and your beautiful graphic is immensely helpful, I'm sure. As a person who has much stress in her life, raising an extremely vulnerable disabled child, I always find comfort and relief in those who do say the words "Man that sucks." You're on the right road to being a wonderful friend, it seems like to me.

Kristi Kroeger said...

The whole "borrowing strength from your future self" quote was very profound. I actually found great comfort in that quote you busted out when the doctor told me there was a bleed and I could very well miscarry. Sometimes, you are more profound than you think. Other times maybe you just need to bust out a smart ass remark that only you can deliver with perfect timing and make them laugh like crazy. Sometimes, we just need a good laugh amid the trial.

City700 said...

Oh oui, il en faut du courage dans la vie !
Bonjour de France !
I come from Laïla's blog -> Rose-Mary's blog...


Patricia said...

What a good friend you are to be so concerned. My life experiences have taken me to many dark places, places that I may have never escaped except with God's help. The best help you may be able to give is prayer.