for her

Why do I carry on?  I ask myself this on day's like yesterday.

Why add more things to do? Why this blog?

At the end of the day, when I laid my head down and stared at the slanted light on the ceiling, I asked myself this.  And then came the still small voice that speaks to me when I am lost and I stop to reflect on my path.  I'm my mind, it is God the Llama. Monocle and all.

You know why.  

And I do.

The answer is my great-great granddaughter.  I'm banking on that girl.  I'm assuming she will care enough to want to know.  About me. And the minutiae of my life.

So today my post if just for her.  This girl I'm banking on.

I want to tell her that I love the sound of water lapping the side of a boat.

I want her to know that after family dinners, my grandpa finds a comfy chair and nods off to sleep with his hands crossed over his belly. And when he does this, it makes me feel that everything is right with the world.

I want to say that I've learned that following the zeitgeist of your time will only make you feel as though you are never enough.  Strike out on your own.

She should know that I love to run my fingertips through the whispy ends of weeds in a meadow.

And that I am painfully shy, but fighting to overcome it.

I want her to know that if the best day of your life is your wedding day, you are in trouble.  If done correctly, the best days are yet to come.

I want to tell this girl so much more. About love and life and how I'm learning to love life.

So I'll keep writing it all down.

For her.

Kelly snapped these photos of me on the sly while I was scouting out spots to shoot our model.  She sent them over as a surprise. That's why I love her.