Friday, January 22, 2010

letting go




photo: artful magpie

I dreamed of becoming a writer. A real bonafide, published author.


I started a writing journal.

I collected words like salt and pepper shakers.

flabbergasted
mozambique
discombobulate

I jotted down catchy phrases for future use.

I mailed off manuscripts.


After a while I started collecting my rejection letters.

Dear April, Thank you for your submission, unfortunately...

I glued the rejections into my writing journal.

Why? I don't really know. Maybe as proof of effort.

Sometimes you find yourself holding on for dear life to a dream, afraid to let it go. Stalled.

Sometimes your only available transportation is a leap of faith. Maragret Shepard said that. I read it on a calendar and it has stuck with me.

I slowly pried my heart from around the writing dream. I slowly, ever so slowly, let it go.

Years went by.

I discovered blogging.

Today I write not to make a living, but in spite of the crazy life I'm living.

I write because I let go and my hands were empty, ready to receive a new dream, similar to my old dream, revamped.

If I've learned one thing in life it is this: when you make plans God laughs.

I dreamed of becoming a writer. God made me a mother, wife and blogger.

My readers don't have to go to Barnes and Noble and buy a book. They can sit in front of their computer in their bathrobe with their coffee, bad breath and bagel and read for free. I'm quite sure more people click over to Suaviloquy everyday than would have ever bought my book.

And I just wanted to say thanks. Thanks for dropping by and helping me realize the dream I never dreamed on purpose.

18 comments:

Cindy said...

You are a beautiful writer. And appreciator of beauty.
I'm grateful you share and grateful for morphed dreams.
And I'm really curious to know what manuscripts you wrote that were rejected.
What types of writing did you do?

Molly said...

Yes like Cindy said I would love to see your manuscripts. I love taking time in the morning to read my bloggy friends lives. Its free therapy, I laugh, I cry, I wonder what it would be life to meet some of them. God does laugh when we make plans. I knwo He had a good laugh when I went to beauty school, ha ha! I hope you andyour fmaily have a fabulous weekend!
~Molly O

Frippery said...

Beautiful post. God answers dreams in many ways.

Erika said...

I'm one of those readers who loves to come see what you have to say each day! I don't see how you could be rejected--I really like your style of writing. And I don't see how it wouldn't appeal to people, especially women. I'd totally buy a book or yours any day.

Wendy Ferguson said...

You are so creative in both word and jewelry. Thank you for inspiring me and even making me snort laugh out loud on some days.

Studio 111 said...

I sent one of your blog entries to a friend months ago to show her how amazing your writing is! She agreed! I wish I could write as well as you. One day. Maybe. :)
PS - I'm collecting supplies to make my paper flower wreath... Can't wait!!!

Elizabeth said...

Thank you for this today.

michele said...

I've been relishing your words, photographs and style for quite a while now and decided it is time for me to show up and say thank you... For your truth, your wit, and beauty, it inspires me over and over again.

karlalala said...

you're awesome!! so glad that our lives crossed, even for the briefest moment. your written word is a gift and blessing to me. many blessings back to you sweet sister! smooch!

lorie said...

A,
Loved this post. You are amazing! So great to finally meet you last weekend. I'm glad it was you for her. Such a great fit. Hope to come see your jewelry collection this summer. I will bring friends. And we will buy!

sheri said...

just wanted to mention that your new blog is gorgeous...love it & your rambling everyday antics...cuz' you're real ;D

Amy said...

Love this! I didn't know you wanted to be a writer. Love your blog... You amaze me!

Dana said...

I am glad to have found your blog today. And I am sure I will be enjoying your writing for a long time to come. :)

annie said...

April, I love this post. You are amazing! Love your blog and your curly hair!!! : )

the emily said...

hi-larious. LOVIN' the new line. and I deserve a blog makeover because my best friend made it over for me about a year ago and I didn't love it but didn't want to hurt her feelings. A year is long enough, right?

Jill W. said...

Can I get an Amen up in here, sista?

Marianna said...

I'm so glad I found your blog. I truely enjoy it so much and as for this particular post, well, I could have written it myself :) Maybe someday I'll go back to being a glutton for punishment and collect more rejection letters but in the mean time I'm just bloglovin' :)

Rachel said...

wow. today was my first stop at your blog. your words here are from my heart. I had such big dreams, and yes, God laughed at mine as well. I let them go but never really LET them go. I have just recently realized that I can't have new ones and achieve the beautiful life I want if I don't allow myself to let go of those old shriveled up dreams. I have just last month began a blog and it has helped me feel some sort of freedom to move on and be a fabulous woman NOW. Thanks for sharing it so well.