Wednesday, June 01, 2011

it was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

It really is the best of times.  And the worst of times.

Everyday I get to kiss and hug my babies.  I find pure delight in watching them move and play.  Their laughter makes my heart race.

Everyday there is screaming and crying and whining.  Everyday I have two absolutely determined babies fighting for my attention. Everyday, at some point, I want to crumble to the floor and cry in frustration.

How lucky am I to get four chubby little legs to kiss? Twenty dimpled fingers to hold. Two heads with golden hair to nuzzle. Just how did I get so lucky?

Two babies require almost all of your time. Every waking minute they are into something. Pulling something apart. Putting something in their mouth. Dismantling a kitchen appliance.  They are always there.  While you try to do laundry. While you try to talk on the phone. While you try to get a bathroom break. Always. There.

It is the very best of times. My children are young and full of life and they still want me to hold them and love on them.  We go everywhere as a family and we get to watch these kids learn and grow.

I guess I don't really know if it is the worst of times. Who knows what lies ahead? But I know it is hard. It's really hard. And I know that sometimes I feel like I'm not up to the task.  I want to throw my arms in the air and call it a day.

I made the June wall paper for myself mostly.  I need to be reminded.  That little grin Frankie just gave you? That's a big thing. The way The Bird dances on the patio? That's big too.  The way the Sugar Daddy hugs you in the kitchen every morning? Stock pile these memories.  Because Thom is already almost eight. And his baby fat is gone. And it will never come back.


laurie said...

my son is 14 and graduates from 8th grade tomorrow, my daughter from the 5th and my little guy will be four, they grow SO fast, and yes there are lots of good times and tough times, (teenager and preteen equal some tough times) but I try to hold onto all the moments because I know when my son starts high school next year it will all be over in the blink of an eye...hang in there, I have those wanting to lock myself in the bathroom moments too!

Elizabeth said...

Lovely post -- bad times come and bad times go -- good times come and good times go. I try to be grateful for the good times and I try not to despair during the bad as they both will pass.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for writing this April. I adore you and agree with what you have to say about child rearing. So magical and yet so frustrating at times. I don't feel so alone when I read your posts.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for writing this. I needed it today. I sometimes wonder if I'm the only one who tries to hold back tears of frustration daily or is so tired of screaming and crying and whining, I could just melt into the carpet. I am so grateful for my children (ages 4, 3, 21 months, 7 weeks) but it is hard on my old body (age 44) to keep up and keep sane and to see the beauty and bliss in those moments. Thanks again.

Anonymous said...

I often feel this way and I only have one baby (and one 5 year old!) It is hard to be all the things I want to be (the type of parent I want to be, the type of wife I want to be, the type of human being I want to be, and the person I'd like to be just for myself.) This crazy, messy, wonderful life is the only one I've got and I'm doing my best to be fully present and enjoy it as much as I can. It's always so nice to know that we are not alone in the struggle. Thanks for this post.