smeared

There has been some incidents this week.  Happenings of the most unpleasant kind.  The kind of things that drive people to drink heavily.

Naturally it involves the children.  Children can be the proprietors of much unpleasantness. This is true.

Most of the displeasing behavior can be attributed to normal childhood menaces. Growing pains, teething and the like. But the most abhorrent episodes involve a little blond haired girl and fecal matter. Smeared.

You got that image thick in your brain? Good. Because these scenes will never, ever leave my memory.

So it's been a little rough. And stinky.

I've shed a tear or two.  I'm generally not a crier. But a human being can only take so much shit in their life. You know what I mean?  There's a limit.

Sugar Daddy took the boy to Costco last weekend and they came home with a five pound jar of Jelly Belly Jelly beans.  I have a few things to say about this, but I will save them for another day.

Needless to say, I've been trying to referee the consumption of said jelly beans all week.  So when I saw The Boy take the back way to the stairs with something clasped in his hands, I called him over for a search and seizure.

"Lemme have em."  I held out my hand.

"I don't have candy mom." he said almost convincingly.

"What cha got there then?"

"Nothin."

"Open up. Let me see." I demanded.

And he did. And in his sticky little boy hand was a rock I had painted a heart onto.

"I was making a Valentine.  For you."

Now my kid is quick on his feet. This could have been a rouse. But his eyes said otherwise.

(Insert a piercing arrow to my heart here.)

I love my children.

I need to say that publicly to all the people in my life to whom I complain.  To those people who listen to me make empty threats of getting a full time job and a nanny.  To Jenny who comes in my darkest hours, and cries with me.

I love my children. I love my life and I really love the fact that Sugar Daddy and I are going away for a couple of days next weekend.

As for Birdie, from now on she will be napping in footed pajamas with the zipper safety pinned at the top.