to my granddaughters

Someday, hopefully a little while off, I'll have grandchildren. And maybe I'll be lucky enough to get a granddaughter or two. I hope so.

The three things I look forward to as a senior citizen are, in this order: One, being able to carry a little dog around in my purse. Two, having tea parties with my grand kids, with real shortbread cookies and pink lemonade. And three, discounts.

I would also like these grandchildren that I'm planning on having to know what I was like at thirty-four. I want them to know that I think life is hard. And fun. And overwhelming. And amazing. And confusing.

I don't know much. Seriously. I am amazed on a daily basis at my pure ignorance regarding so many things. But there are a few things that I have down pat. Things that I know for sure.

To my granddaughters,

Hello my darlings! I hope I'm not dead when you are reading this. But if I am, rest assured that I am upstairs enjoying myself. I'm probably eating chocolate covered cherries. If I could pick up the phone and call you from the year 2009 and give you little bits of wisdom that I have collected, this is what I would say.

Ring. Ring.

Marry a work horse not a stallion. What really matters happens when no one is watching.

When disciplining your children, never take away an opportunity they will never have again.

Always wear a good bra, it can make all the difference.

To enhance your powers of persuasion, become a good cook.

Kiss your children while they are sleeping and try to hold on to the memory of these moments.

Call your husband by a pet name, even in an argument.

The only friends worth having are the kind that will tell you when you have something stuck in your teeth.

Don't complain about someone you love to someone who doesn't love them as well.

Save your strong opinions for your closest friends and blog.

Some of the most interesting people you will ever meet will be found in a book. Read.