Thursday, January 22, 2009

pandemic

Is it just me or is the entire female population pregnant? Is there some kind of pregnancy pandemic? Is my Pur water pitcher filtering out what everyone else has been drinking?

I saw a woman who was probably about seventy and she looked pregnant. Scouts honor. She was walking around Sur La Table with a rotund belly that I swear could only be pregnancy related. Or maybe she had a tumor in which case I will be struck by lightning later today.

Everywhere I go I can't seem to escape big pregnant bellies. And it may just be my perception, but these women seem to want to draw attention to themselves with their exaggerated waddle and the braggy way they rest their hands across the wide expanse of their midsection.

Don't bother leaving me a comment in defense of the pregnant waddle. I'm being facetious and I'm not in the mood. I try not to moan too much about my barren womb, but to be honest infertility is a treasure trove of complaints. And every once in a while, like when the entire world gets pregnant except for me, my grievances come out.

Just give me this moment of ugliness and ingratitude. After All, tonight I will sit and flip through The Boy's baby photos and I will be shamed.

God has given us this precious gift. For years, I prayed on my knees, "Please Lord, grant us this blessing and we will be happy." I think I should make good on my word.
Thomas 3 weeks

And so, instead of feeling sorry for myself when I am SURROUNDED by preggies at the Target checkout, I am going to think about heartburn, constipation, nausea, weight gain, bloating and vaginal varicose veins. Ew.

And I'm going to be happy for myself.

21 comments:

Kalli Ko said...

when you're NOT pregnant it seems like everyone else in the world is, and that is truth.

Kroegers Calling said...

If it makes you feel better I have a 2 year old you can borrow until she goes to kintergarden. She's cute, but she's kinda high maintainance. And I am not pregnant.

Leslie said...

i'm not pregnant! :)

i think it's just women who are pregnant just can't help talking about it. it seems like it's everyone, but it's not.

~Michelle~ said...

Don't forget hemorrhoids & c-sections... I about died when my friend went into some detail on those subjects...spare me!

We had a pandemic @ my old job a couple of years ago - everyone or their wives were preggo @ the same time...I was afraid to go to the office, so I avoided it all costs.

KLC said...

I wish both of us luck then.

Pecos Blue said...

Sorry that was me above there.

sweetmango said...

That picture of Thomas is about the cutest picture of a baby I have ever seen. Perfect.
xxsm

Jill said...

Ap ... I completely agree! And don't you dare apologize! Maybe what you need is a visit to sunny SG, a nail appt. with ME and some cupcakes. Have I talked you into it yet?

Love ya!

april said...

Thanks Sweet Mango-
I took that photo myself and I think it is the cutest photo too!

Caroline D. said...

Maternity pants! Awful maternity pants that are either too big and fall off your tush or to small and you dread sitting down. Eating four bites at dinner and feeling like you ate the whole turkey. Not sleeping on your back or stomach.

Does that help? Those were the worst part of pregnancy for me...

Niki :-) said...

What a sweetie pie! Love the picture. Get some sleep mom!

april said...

Well, you can tell Niki didn't read the post. HELLO!

wendy said...

That bites. It is hard to want something soooo bad and wait, wait, wait, hope and wait some more for it TO happen. Wish I had something more "powerful and meaningful to say" other then that BITES.

Krista said...

tell me about it. 'cept in my world everyone's getting engaged and i'm the single girl. so sorry. it really does suck. p.s. i love your blog though. :)

Kristin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tollestrup Family said...

I laughed and I cried as I caught up on your blog today. First of all your writing is beautiful and layered. It sends me to a different time for a brief moment when I read it. Second, as you look at me, you probably see a woman who pops out children (5) and the baby world should balance itself out. When I look at you I see that you have only been blessed with one so far but you have been able to cultivate all your talents. Which are many and varied. Everyt ime I see you, you have another amazing talent. I have to say I envy that a lot. My talents right now are lunch packing, laundry, carpool, 24 hour nurse and referee. Not that it isn't rewarding but for a moment can I live vicariously through you? You know you can always live through me although I would prefer it if you could be me for a day so I can have a break. :)

tamifoulger said...

You made me laugh and cry. Both of which I needed a good dose of today. I love your humor and your honesty. April it's definitely your turn! oxox Tami

Laura said...

I feel that way about houses and babysitters. Seems like everyone, but me, has them.

Our eyes ALWAYS see what it is we DON'T have. When all we need, is right there in front of us.

That baby picture actually brought tears to my eyes. I am sorry for your sadness, and I Know that may be hard to hear from a woman with 568 children, but honestly...I don't pretend to know how you feel, but I do know the pain of wanting something so badly, and everyone, but you, seems to have it.

Keep thinking ugly pregnant thoughts...I can help you...with my last child, gestational diabetes, veins galore, double hernia...my vagina was the size of Texas!...after birth, my uterus never contracted back, and I ALMOST DIED! For real. 5 blood transfusions. saw the light. And my stomach? A hot mess. Muscles torn apart, and I look like I am always 4 months pregnant. My boobs sag so much that I trip on my own nipples. And I am insane. I have been literally driven insane.

Laura said...

I just read JILLS comment, and April, if you can't make it out to see her for manicures and cupcakes, I would be happy to go in your place. THAT sounds way better than kids!!!!

Renee said...

Hi April,
Like Laura said, every thing we need is right in front of us.Don't rush things...in the end we don't know what's better for us and when.Maybe there will be other things coming up this year for you that you might not be able to do if you had another little one.Enjoy the way your life is now...embrace and give love to all that you have now b/c it is so special & know that when the time is right, you will have another one,it may not be as quickly as you want, but it will happen. ;) Good things come in time to those who wait. (NOt that that makes it any better, but I think if you focus soley on your family & your life then it will miraculously happen when you are not expecting it & it will be so much fun that way!)

Jennifer said...

It's not just you everyone IS pregnant. Except for me and you that is... and all of the men. Isn't that strange?! It's quite annoying sometimes, no lie.