Thursday, June 24, 2010

you wanna piece of me?

Rug Rats Summer 2010 
I will say this: It's good to be needed.

But my word.

The phone rang yesterday. The home phone. No one important ever calls us on our home phone because we never answer it. We are annoying that way.  

So I'm really not sure why I answered it this time but I did.  The conversation went something like this:
Hello? (Breathless after loading two babies and groceries out of the car)
Hi! Mrs. Meeker? This is Carole from Best Carpet Cleaning. Can I have a moment of your time? 
(Pregnant pause)
Well Carole, no. You cannot, because I haven't peed since ten this morning and the eggs are getting warm in the car. So sorry. I gotta go.
Okay... well...okay. Maybe another time?
Probably not.
Okaaayyyy. Well goodbye then.
Rude. I know. But people! Lemme tell ya.

When you are a mother of three kids, two of which can't even get their bodies into or out of the car, you don't have time to talk to carpet people. You don't even have time to pee.

I swear to you my bladder must have grown twice it's usual size over the past year. That can't be healthy.  Can a bladder actually burst? What would happen if it did? Isn't pee sterile? 

And the real kicker is even when I do find time to dash to the bathroom, even if I manage to allude the two older kids and sneak off to the lesser used toilet and leave the light off so as to be undetectable, the dog finds me and stands there and breaths his doggy breath and looks like he is expecting something. I have never, not once, given him a dog treat while I'm on the toilet. I don't know where he's getting this from.

Why am I telling you all this? Too much information? Where's the censorship? (In case you haven't noticed, I don't censor a whole lot here on the blog, much to my father's chagrin.)

I'm telling you this because when I tell you no, I cannot remake a necklace or adjust the length on a pair of earrings or even accept a special order, it's because I can't. Really. It's not because I don't love you. 

So be patient with me. If you want something from me, I want your money you to have it. I'm working my way through this crazy ride I'm on.  I'm setting aside a few hours every week to be in my studio. 

Several kid free hours to design and silversmith and pee at my leisure. Oh the luxury.

And now to some lazy Summer day pictures wherein my children look angelic.

Thom and Henry
Amelie Brooke




Molly said...

Very angelic! Happy Thursday!!
~Molly P

Christina said...

Thank you for such and honest post. I too often pee with dogs breathing on me-what's up with that? If I am rude enough to close the door they sit on the outside of it and scratch.

The freckles on your oldest boy are to die for. There is nothing better then a sprinkling like that.

Hang in there!

Chariot said...

I laughed so hard at this post. This is definitely going to be me in a year or two. Mine are only 6 months old right now. The only leisure quite time is after they go to sleep.

And wow, your kids have beautiful blue eyes! Wow!

michelle said...

It gets easier. In 5 years you still may not be able to pee uninterrupted but you wont feel so guilty locking the door and telling the kids to go away.

jamie said...

what a wonderful post. {just found you via ms. farrer} {yeah me}.
you words are so on target. this from a woman about to birth her fifth child (a surprise child that is). feeling like my life will never, ever, simply be mine again, your words caused me to smile (actually i giggled outloud, yeah you) and know that i am not alone.
God bless ya!

Elizabeth said...

Oh, my goodness. They are spectacular! And I got a call from the carpet folk, too, yesterday -- in Los Angeles!

karlee said...

i don't have kids but I do have a dog.. and let me tell you, he is the WORST when it comes to the bathroom. he can't keep out of the trash, the shower or my lap whenever I'm in there. It was so awkward to pee with his head on my leg.. now, I just deal.

Malisa said...

So true, so true! Now that my kids are grown, I find myself looking at the mother of my three grandkids and asking myself "how the heck she does it". It is kind of like childbirth, the memory of the pains eventually fade. :)

RiNNE said...

i'm glad you were able to set the time aside to make me a custom necklace...thanks so much! your kiddies are beautiful!!! love the blue eyes and freckles! and be careful with withholding could get kidney stones that way...i did!

ThisKalilLife said...

Oh I can so relate! I was just telling my 6-year-old "Can't I just pee in peace for once?" She laughs, thinks it's hilarious and then the 14-month-old burst in the bathroom like the Kool-Aid man and I'm definitely not peeing in peace. I guess I'm suppose to learn something from all of this. Right now, I just want to be able to pee on my own.

Thank you for sharing. It does feel a little better to know that there are lots of mamas out there going through and feeling the same things.

BTW, you were nicer to the carpet cleaning lady than I would have been! And I'm sure she had a good laugh about it when it was all over.

Paige Tyler said...

just sent to a few girlfriends who needed a reminder that young ones are not easy!

laylablue said...

Since you asked...

yes, your bladder can stretch
and, after 2 or more kids, your bladder can "fall", or become loose. ick.

if you really want too much information, :)
email me

oldgreymare said...

hahahahahahaha- oh no! my age (post 50) when you cough too much or laugh too much you have to go....peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and your bladder has not only stretched, it's dropped.

Sad, yes, but true. Face it, it's your future..hahahahaha

OH NO!!!!


Cindy at LottieBird said...

Thank goodness you have time to take the photos!

I think my dog knows the only time she actually gets my attention is when I am in the bathroom. Or sitting in a position to actually scritch her ears. Talk about sharing too much--that visual may have crossed the boundary!

Anonymous said...

Loved the story. I have twins, and another only 14 months younger. I don't think I left the house for about a year after the third was born!!

MerryWA said...

Sorry to say, but my kids are teenagers, and I still can't pee without being interupted!! I think it's that you are a "captive" audience. But hey, any modesty has long since gone.

Jenna said...

this totally made me laugh. LOVE your honesty. i will have #3 at the end of september and own my own little handmade shop too. wondering how i will balance it all. i don't even know why they put doors on the bathrooms anymore. you painted the perfect picture of my life right now. your jewelry is gorgeous. keep it up. and i love what you wrote about your sticky fingered helper, who will grow up watching her mama do what she loves. *me too*