Monday, May 16, 2011

greeting cards and bare arses


It's hard to know how brilliant, or not brilliant at all, your children really are.  I mean, once they are in school you can compare them to other children their same age, but even then you don't know.  Some geniuses flunked out of school.  A lot of geniuses actually.

And I never was one to put much stock into having a "gifted" child. When I hear "gifted child" I think trouble.  I want average kids.  B students.  I want them well rounded and hard working.

But this girl I have, I think might be, maybe, oh boy do I actually say it out loud? Really smart.


She will be two on Wednesday.  And let me tell you something. Smart is a hard thing to deal with in a two-year-old.

Case in point:

The Bird has figured out the iPhone. Totally. She can cruise around, find the games she likes, make calls, take photos and generally really screw up your settings given a very small amount of time.

On Saturday morning while I was in the shower she nabbed my phone.  The Sugar Daddy had just gotten out of the shower and he isn't as vigilant with the phones and the babies as I am.  He could hear her snapping photos.  The Bird's photos are generally of the carpet or Frankie's blurry eyeball.  He paid little attention.

Skip to Sunday afternoon when I awoke from my nap to find a couple of texts asking me about my Instagram profile picture.

Profile picture indeed.

Evidently. Ahem. Evidently the The Bird has taken a photo of Ben's bare arse the day before and decided it should be my profile picture.

Now at first neither of us could quite believe that she did it.  We accused each other until finally we came to the conclusion that I would never want a bare arse as my profile. How rude. And that he, would never want his bare arse on the internet.

That left us with one, rotten, albeit very cute, culprit.  And how do you even punish something like that? Well you don't.  You just live and learn.

And hope that if she really is this smart she uses it in more socially acceptable ways.

Oh yes, and about the greeting cards. I just wanted to say that I will be selling some of my art as greeting cards and prints at Spark, so if you are coming, please buy some.

There will be no nudity on anything. Promise.

10 comments:

Sherry Smyth said...

Thank you for my morning laugh...I miss the age of 2 -- it's one of the MOST special...and they are smarter than we give them credit for!!!

laurie said...

oh my...thanks for the laugh, Birdie is SO cute!! those eyes and cute little pucker...just adorable!! love your card...will definately check it out.

Stef said...

That is awesome! Totally just made my day . . . I bet her daddy will be a little more vigilant about monitoring the babies with the phones from now on!

Jennifer Rodriguez said...

Thanks for the belly laugh..

I have one of those culprits myself, she is 3 now..
All I can give as advice is keep your bum covered.. :D

Erin said...

Made my day! Hilarious!!

Jan Quigley said...

Classic, love it. Our 'gifted child' booked himself a plane ticket to visit his sister. He'd seen me book a ticket on line so it was easy, grab Mum's credit card & go for it. He was 5 or 6 at the time. He's now nearly 15 & we still laugh about it.

margie said...

best story ever...
EVER...
i loved seeing Super Man's ArsS...
you are one lucky girl...
a brilliant daughter...
and a fine looking Arss to boot!
lol
kiss kiss.
m

Jessa said...

That. Is. Awesome.

And another compelling reason to pluck my iphone from the grimy grasp of my 20 month old.

Lyssa said...

Thank you so much for the laugh that evaporated the gloom in my day!

Krista said...

Hilarious! Bet your husband will be a little more vigilant with the little ones and the iPhone.