I've always had this deep seated need to do different. Not to be different. No, no. I don't want people staring at me or making comments. Not that I don't like different. I love different people. I seek them out as friends. I get happy and bubbly when I see someone who's down with their "differentness".
And I wonder why. Why am I so afraid of people staring? So what? Who cares?
Then again, I can't think in what way I would choose to be different. I don't want a full body tattoo. As a general rule I don't like couture clothing. I feel ridiculous in loud colors. I like to bathe everyday and do my average head of hair and put on muted colors of make-up and modest clothing. In Lady Ga Ga's words, "I was born that way baby."
Now doing is another story. I never want to be doing what everyone else is doing. I won't read a book if everybody is reading it. Or watch a popular television program. I don't like super trendy clothing or jewelry. I can't stand most pop culture.
I am continually stretching my mind to come up with something new. Different.
Something to call my own.
I marvel at people that can build their own new style through their art. I've been hacking away at it for some time now. And so far I've only created a few things that I think are genuine April.
I guess if art were easy, everyone would be doing it.
And then I wouldn't want to do it anymore.